Don’t let Ottawa’s buttoned-up exterior fool you. This here government town has got lots of HAWT happening, you just have to know where to find it.  Here’s a list of some of the cool sexy events coming up in the nation’s capital:

Friday, August 3rd

Centretown Movies and Planned Parenthood Ottawa presents The Birdcage

What better way to start off your long weekend than with an outdoor screening of this campy, comic classic? All proceeds go to Planned Parenthood Ottawa (who just happen to be my employers). Huzzah for sexual health resources and paychecks!

Time: 9 pm

Place: Dundonald Park

Cost: Pay-What-You-Can

 

Ottawa Slowdance Night: Summer Love Edition

Get your up-close-and-personal grove on as the DJ spins (almost) all slow songs. Don’t have a date? No worries. There are designated dancers just waiting to fill up the slots on your dance cards. (For real, there are actual dance cards!)

Time: 9 p.m.

Place: Raw Sugar Café

Cost: $10 at the door

 

Monday, August 13th

The Naughty Bits Book Club

Ottawa’s favourite sex shop wants you to do some hot summer reading. Grab a copy of this month’s selection – A Queer And Present Danger, then jam on down to Venus Envy to discuss your favourite naughty bits.

Time: 6:30

Place: Venus Envy Ottawa

Cost: FREE

 

Wednesday, August 15th

Senior’s Night Out!

Get ready to mix and mingle! This twice monthly is a chance for LGBTA folk over 50 to get together and have some fun!

Time: 7:30

Place: Burgers On Main

Cost: No cover. Cash bar.

 

August 16th

Strip Cheese

Ottawa’s sauciest burlesque vixens take it off to some the cheesiest rock anthems, power ballads and love songs of our time!

Time: Doors at 8 p.m. Show at 9.

Place: Maxwell’s Bistro

COST: $10 at the door.

 

If you’ve got the lowdown on some sex-positive, queer-inclusive happenings coming up, feel free to drop me a line at nadine@adorkableundies.com or go right ahead and list them in the comments!

 

 

This week I feel sexy in…

Sunglasses: Joe Fresh. Blouse: Banana Republic (thrifted). Belt: Joe Fresh (thrifted). Skirt: Jacob (thrifted). Shoes: t.u.k. (via ModCloth). Bag: Aldo (thrifted).

…work wear!

I usually work from home; however a surge of summer getaways has left the PPO Office (or the PPOffice, as I call it) light on staff. So for the next few weeks I’ll be going into work a little more often than I usually do.

The PPOffice is full of condoms and wickedly cool people who talk about sex a fair bit, so I’m just as happy spending my time there as I am  working on my couch with my laptop. The official dress code at work is pretty casual but spending extended time the actual office is kind of novel for me, so I’m taking the opportunity to play dress up with button down blouses knee-length skirts and more tailored dresses.

 

Necklace: Joe Fresh. Dress: Lands’ End. Shoes: Seychelles.

This is my newest dress. I saw it in the Lands’ End catalogue a few months ago, but it was pricier than I was willing to pay. A couple of weeks ago, it went on sale AND I found a discount code online. This bold plaid number was suddenly well within my budget so I snapped it up immediately.

A Twitter conversation about the dress, prompted a friend to ask how many dresses I own. I haven’t done an exact count, but I’d estimate I have close to 50 frocks in my closet. This led to an interesting discussion about many dresses I feel I need.  For the past few years I’ve been making an effort to speak and think more accurately about what I need vs. what I want.  Not because I’m against wanting things. I guess I’d just like to be honest about the fact that I own as many clothes as I do because of choice.

At this point I need zero dresses. I want all the dresses. I’ve landed somewhere in the middle at a lot of dresses.

 

Earrings: Forever 21. Dress: My Michelle (swaped). Shoes: Chinese Laundry.

Confession:

I did wear the first yellow/blue ensemble to the office on Thursday. But this red dress and the plaid number are actually outfit projections for next week and the week after.  You’ve caught a glimpse into the future!

But that’s not my only hustle…

This red dress was yet another score from Stylin’ Jes’s famed clothing swap. It’s a size too large for me but the length and colour  work. Eventually I’ll get off my duff and take this to the tailor to be taken in but in the meantime, I wanted to include it in this week’s photoshoot, so I grabbed a couple old blind clips from our junk drawer and…

Voila!

We all need a little help holding it together sometimes.

It began as a day job.

Nearly three years ago a friend sent me a job posting from Planned Parenthood Ottawa. They were looking for someone with a background in theatre and sexual health to take over as the co-ordinator of a youth-focused program called Insight Theatre. I had just left my job as a vibe peddler/workshop facilitator at Venus Envy, so I was in need of a new gig. The job description was an almost eerie amalgamation of my very specific skill set.  It definitely felt like one of those universe-sending-me-a-message type moments and so I updated my resume, carefully crafted a cover letter and submitted my application.

Happily, I was granted an interview. Then I almost missed said interview when I blew out a bike tire on my way downtown. I arrived sweaty, frazzled and nearly an hour late. Lucky for me the powers that be  at PPO appreciate adorkable, because despite my ruffled first impression they offered me the job.  The best job I have ever had.

Insight Theatre, in a nutshell works like this:

Every summer, high school youth from across Ottawa audition to be part of Insight Theatre’s new season. Those who are accepted join our training program where they receive a comprehensive sexual and reproductive health education from some of the best community facilitators in the city. They also receive top of the line drama coaching (our current coach is none other than Evolution Theatre Head Honcho, Chris Bedford).

By the end of the summer the new troupe members have evolved into fledgling sexpert thespians, who have channeled their knowledge into a series of theatrical scenes about topics which include: healthy relationships, communication, sexual orientation, abstinence, sexually transmitted infections, consent, sexual violence, gender identity, pregnancy options, safer sex and more!

Once the school year begins the youth attend rehearsals multiple times a week. They take the scenes they’ve created during the summer and use them as the basis for a production. They fine tune their work, honing in on what they feel will be the most relevant lessons for their peers. By November, they’ve made a show. They’re very own show of which they are the writer, producers and stars.

From November to May, the Insight troupe tours, performing and sharing the information they’ve acquired with students in senior elementary and high schools around the city. And me? A lot of my job involves sitting in the back of an auditorium feeling proud. I watch the audiences. Teens don’t always listen to their parents, their teachers or even their doctors when it comes to information about sex. But they listen to each other. The youth at Insight shows listen to our performers…because they’re youth too. They are creative, committed, intelligent, open-minded, open-hearted, generous people. Their passion for education never fail to inspire me. I’d probably be wise to exercise some professional detachment. But these kids are too awesome. I’ve loved every one I’ve worked with over the past three years. Every spring when the season ends, I cry.

But the tears can wait this year. Insight Theatre is celebrating it’s 30th anniversary and before we say good-bye, there’s going to be a big fundraising party to say “thank you” to the many, many, MANY people who have been part of this program over the years. If you’re in the Ottawa area, you should come – eat some food, get your dance on and see a show the like of which ye have never seen!

It began as my day job. Now teaching people about sex is what I do. And I learned how from the extraordinary, incomparable youth of Insight Theatre.

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Insight Gala tickets are $50 ($20 for students and lower income guests). For more information check out the writing beside this cool dude in the hoodie!

 

 

Tonight I’m facilitating a session on sex positivity for some new volunteers at work.  My favourite part of the lesson involves an activity called “Penis Vulva  Arm”. The group must come up with as many euphemisms/slang terms for each body part. It’s no holds-barred. Participants are encouraged to throw out any word no matter how cheesy, inappropriate or potentially offensive it might be.

We write all the words on large sheets of paper. Invariably there are dozens words for both penis and vulva, while the record for “arm” stands at four.

The purpose of the exercise is to illustrate how many words we’ve created to describe the sexual parts of our bodies and how, to some extent, the breadth of language exists as a way to avoid speaking about sex directly.

While I agree that speaking in anatomically correct terms without blushing furiously is a good thing, I must confess that I do have fun with less formal sex-talk in certain contexts. Here, for your consideration, are some of my favourite sexy slang terms:

Vulva: Cunt. The Lion.

Clitoris: Clit

Vagina: Vag. Inside me/her.

Penis: Cock.

Testicles: Balls. (I’m trying to break my habit of saying “Balls!” to express disappointment, as I like balls/testicles quite a bit. “Pants!” is the my new “Balls!”)

Scrotum: Ball sack.

Breasts: Boobs (in casual conversation). Tits (in sexy situations)

Butt: Ass. Booty.

Semen: Jizz

Vaginal lubrication: Va-Jizz

Penetrative Sex: Fuck(ing)

Spanking: Ass slap

Fellatio: Going Down. Sucking cock.

Cunnilingus: Use/using your mouth (The term “eating out” just doesn’t make sense to me.)

Anal Sex: Ass fuck(ing)

Masturbation: Wanking. Taking Care Of Business.

When it comes to sex words, do you have some preferred slang terms or do you like to straight up tell it like it is? Comments are open so don’t be shy…speak up! :-)

 

 

 

 

When I started doing burlesque I was surprised to discover that for me, one of the more challanging aspects of the art form, were the costume elements. Specifically how to dress to undress.  My everyday disrobing involves yanking garments from my body and hurling them to the floor. It takes ten seconds. My audience is The Man of Mans. No need to keep certain bits covered when I ditch my duds. Dude has an all-access pass.

Meanwhile the logistics of taking it off in a burlesque routine are a bit more involved. Layers and fastners, and what piece comes of when and in which direction. How to make it all enticing, beautiful and choreographed in time to music.

As soon as I began burlesquing, I began making costume lists for my routines. It’s a helpful practice but I still find it challenging to transpose the visuals in my mind into words.

Then I had an idea.

I’m a visual learner. I also love to draw, particularly clothes and fashion-related things. As a kid I used to spend hours sketching fantasy outfits. I knew I’d have an easier time planning my outfits, if I could see them. And so burlesque story boards were born!

The process was very simple. First I found a website with printable fashion figure templates.  I printed a few, cut them out and pasted them on another piece of paper:

 

Next I scanned the image and created a PDF document of the figures. I wanted to story board a routine with that involves about six stages of undress, so I printed out two pages.

 

Time to draw!  I’m much better at putting outfits together then I am at taking them apart. I realized that if I began by drawing the starting outfit and going forward, it’d be tough to make corrections if I accidentally missed a step.  Instead I began with the final look…

 

…And worked my way backwards.

 

Added a few notes…

 

…And voila! A burlesque story board!

I love this activity. It really does help me figure out how to get (nearly) naked. And better still it combines my latest grown-up passion with one of my favourite childhood passtimes!

If you’d like to see this storyboard go from page to the stage, please come on out to Rockalily Burlesque‘s next show The Nearly Naked Truth on March 23rd! The $15 dollar ticket gets you a night of music, dancing and a whole lotta sexy!  Best of all, the proceeds go to Ottawa’s favourite pro-choice sexual health organization – and my employer – Planned Parenthood Ottawa!

Hope to see you there!