Keep Your Pants Off!
It’s not my ruby lips you love…
Source: google.com via Nadine on Pinterest
Or my legs in lacy hose.
Source: barenecessities.com via Nadine on Pinterest
It’s not the ruffles nor the feathers
Nor my subtle sultry pose…
Source: elyann.tumblr.com via Nadine on Pinterest
It’s not my breasts adorned with jewels…
That puts fire in your soul.
The sexy magic’s in my feet…
‘Cause that’s the way I roll!
This Saturday, October 13th, Imma be struttin’ my stuff (nearly) in the buff as part of The Capital City Cabaret. My tassel twirling amusements are just one act in a showcase of sensual, unusual, corporeal, sensational delights!
Want to know more? Tune in to CBC radio’s All In A Day today at 3:00. I’ll be dishing all the dirty details with Rockalily’s red-haired ring leader, Miss Helvetica Bold!
This week I feel sexy in…
Shorts: Old Navy. Sunglasses: Joe Fresh. Earrings: Forever 21. Top: Jacob. Sandals: Payless Shoes.
…shorts!
Even though I don’t like pants, I do enjoy their leg-barring summertime counterpart. I find most pants uncomfortable around the waist, through the hips and…well in the crotch. Given that shorts are almost all waist/hip/crotch, you’d think I’d find them torturous. But no. For me they wear like an uber-comfy, slightly more modest version of a mini-skirt. Whaddup with that?
Romper: Jessica Simpson. Earrings & Bracelet Forever 21. Shoes: Nine West.
I discussed my contradictory feelings for pants vs. shorts with a fashion saavy friends, who pointed out that shorts (typically) don’t have fabric at the knee . In pants, sitting, walking and other leg bending activities pull the material taut around the hips. In shorts everything is free and easy.
So perhaps I’m not so much about pantslessness specifically. Any garment that doesn’t restrict my lower half is good times. The romper shown above certainly gives my gams ample freedom!
And speaking of bare….
Shorts: Amazing Lace. Earrings: Arden. Boa: La Vie En Rose. Bra: La Senza (thrifted). Leg Warmers: Sock Dreams. Skates: Chicago Skate Company. Photo by Victoria Scanell.
Here I am kitted out as Mighty Afrodite: roller disco goddess and my burlesque alter ego. My outlandish attire was for my performance at the Fifth Annual No Pants Dance Party. The event is exactly what it sounds like – a big party, where people don’t wear pants. When I asked my fellow troupe members if spangly booty shorts fit the dress code for the evening, the answer a resounding yes! As one of my stripping sisters put it, “Shorts aren’t pants!”
Word.
While We’re On The Subject Of Roller Skates…
Nancy Kenny is Ottawa’s original queen on wheels! She’s raising money to fund her wicked one-woman play Roller Derby Saved My Soul. If you’ve got a moment and a few dollars to spare check out her campaign here!
Finally, it’s a long weekend. The banks, businesses and the blog will be closed on Monday, but I’ll be back at it bright and early on Tuesday! In the meantime Happy Canada Day, countrypeople – from my family to yours!
It’s about to get all patriotic up in here!
This week I’ve mostly been dressed like this…
Be-penguined pants!
The unsexy clothes are due to a very un-sexy cold that’s left me feeling like this:
Faceplant!
While the rhinoviral spores and my immune system battle for supremacy, I’ve taken comfort in tea and an exciting new proposition. The lucious ladies of Rockalily Burlesque invited me to join their ranks officially, an offer that I happily accepted.
I’m a straight up burlesquer! Legit, yo!
So this week I’m in big and baggy sick-day style but once I kick the cold, I’ll be spending a lot more of my time (un)dressed like this:
Photo by John Finnigan Lin
.Nadine is a sexual health educator, a playwright, poet, burlesque performer, partner and parent living in Ottawa, Ontario. She enjoys candy, fashion and dreck television. She does not care for pants. Photo by Justin Van Leeuwen.
Have a question about sex and/or relationships? Dirty Laundry is my monthly column at Apartment 613. There I dispense advice on all things TMI and share steamy tips about Ottawa's sexiest places and faces. The laundry room is always open, so drop me a line at dirtylaundry613@gmail.com.
