OAQ: Occasionally Asked Questions

1.Why do you write about sex so much?

I spent a lot of my adolescence and early adulthood feeling terribly confused about my sexuality. Society seemed to have very clear, yet very narrow parametres when it came to be sexy and sexual. Unfortunately it didn’t always mesh with how I felt or what I wanted. That left me feeling pretty screwed up. As a result I did some pretty screwed up things…which left me feeling even more screwed up.

In university I met a small group of wonderfully open people who loved to talk about everything…including sex! Soon I began talking about sex as well.  It was fun, intriguing and occasionally arousing. It also helped a LOT. I slowly began realize that human sexuality is diverse business, which we all experience in our own way . There was nothing wrong with my desires or with me.

Talking about sex helped me so much, I started doing it all the time. Then I began a career in sex education/sexual health. Then I started writing about it sex. And here we are.

2.Why do you write about gender, orientation, relationships, body image and all the other stuff that isn’t sex?

Those other topics seem to be inextricably linked to sex, sexuality and sexual politics. We’re all subject to certain expectations based on who we are, who we’re attracted to, who we’re paired with and what we look like. Expectations that may or may not work for us. So I find it impossible to write about sex without writing about the other stuff.

3.Why do you write about fashion?

‘Cause I like clothes and stuff.

4. What does the title of your blog mean?

‘Adorkable’ is a word I read on a t-shirt and appropriated for my own use. It describes those time when grace, charm and wit elude me and I wind up walking into a wall. Adorkable Undies refers to the idea that sex isn’t always smooth, sultry seduction. It can be funny, quirky and awkward and that’s okay, maybe even kind of lovable in its own way.  It also refers to the fact that I spend a lot my time pantsless.

5. I have a weird thing down here? Can you tell me what it is?

I’m sorry, no. I’m not a medical professional. Even if I was, I’m pretty sure diagnosing people via blog would be grounds for malpractice. But if you’re in the Ottawa area, I’d be happy to suggest some resources for you!

6. I know of an interesting topic related to sex/gender/orientation/body image/style. Can you write about it?

I’m always happy to receive requests/suggestions from readers. Just check out the request guidelines here and then drop me an e-mail at nadine@adorkableundies.com!

7. Does your mom know you’re doing this?

Yes. She’s a regular reader. She also came to a fellatio workshop I gave. That was awkward.

8. Don’t you have a kid? Won’t he be embarrassed by this someday?

Yes. And probably. If this doesn’t do it, my vast collection of 70’s lite rock will be a guaranteed source of humiliation.

9. How does your partner feel about your blog?

I was deep into the TMI when The Man of Mans and I met – he knew what he was getting into.  He reads the blog daily and in fact a lot of my posts have come from conversations we’ve had. If you’re reading it here, chances are he and I have already been talking about it for a while. But don’t take my word for it – check out his answer to this question here!

10. What else should I know about you?

I have a short bio here.

I try very hard to write in a way that is sex-positive and inclusive. But I don’t always succeed. Like everyone, I get tripped up by my own bias, my privilege and the fact that I can be uber-opinionated.

I’m trying to be more diligent about my editing, but I still make a lot of typos.

You should also know that working in sexual health has taught me a lot, but I have a LOT to learn. And no matter how much I learn, I will never know as much about you or your life as you do. So (unless you ask) I’m not here to tell you what to do. I’m just here to talk…about sex.