This is a list of one hundred and one things I will/try to/hope to do in the next thousand and one days.

Start date: January 11th, 2010

End date: October 7th, 2012

1. Take swimming lessons.
2. Cook a lobster unassisted and serve it to my husband.
3. Read Generation X by Douglas Coupland.
4. Complete a triathlon. (July 11th, 2010!)
5. Participate in a Fringe Festival outside Ottawa.

6. Write a mash note to someone I love and mail it for Valentine’s Day.
7. Have my jeans hemmed.
8. Have something published.
9. Load my digital photo frame and hang it on the wall
10. Bake and serve a cake, from scratch without ruining it.

11. Treat the friends I love to an outstanding 5-star meal.
12. Teach my dog to “stay”
13. Swim with my son
14. Ride bikes with my son
15. Run with my son.

16. Run a 10K race.
17. Take at least one picture of every single person I love.
18. Have at least 20 poems to my name.
19. Kiss my Man of Mans every day.
20. Do breast self-exams every month.

21. Have two pap smears  (Blergh.)
22. Have another nude/erotic photo taken.
23. Take a nude/erotic photo of someone else.
24. Visit my family in Bermuda
25. Visit my family in Barbados

26. Attend a Sexual and Reproductive Health conference
27. Have at least three nieces and/or nephews. (Welcome niece #3, Madeleine!)
28. Take my little boy to kindergarten.
29. Get a massage.
30. Have the 35th birthday party of my dreams.

31. Treat my mom to a pedicure…because I love her.
32. Treat my mother-in-law to a pedicure…because I love her.
33. Convince one of my straight, guy friends to join me for a pedicure.
34. Go with my neighbours to get a pedicure.
35. Give someone a pedicure

36. Make out with my husband at the drive-in.
37. Take my little boy to see the fireworks on Canada Day
38. Attend  one of my niece’s swim meets.
39. Kiss a woman on the lips (stage kisses count).
40. Audition/apply for a job I feel woefully unqualified to do.

41. Produce another Fringe play.
42. Self-produce or have produced a play in a non-Fringe venue.
43. Have a script produced with absolutely no input from me.
44. Serve as assistant director under a director I admire.
45. Play frisbee in the park with my dog.

46. Take the dog and enjoy a day of solitary hiking.
47. Make at least three paintings to hang in my home.
48. Convince Wayne to join Facebook
49. Win a poker game.
50. Have eight orgasms in one day.

51. Try river rafting.
52. Go rapelling.
53. Try that one type of sushi that looks really gross. (Unagi.  It was good!)
54. Give Bumblebee her fairy godparent letter.
55. Put flowers on my grandparents’ graves.

56. Swim…really swim…in the ocean.
57. Buy books at The Strand in New York City.
58. Get high with my friends.
59. Say “I love you” to whomever it applies.
60. Refinish an old piece of furniture.

61. Remain consumer-debt free.
62. Try on some 5-inch heels, just to see what’s up.
63. Finish the basement.
64. Go to Ontario Place
65. Ride the Behemoth at Canada’s Wonderland.

66. Acknowledge the panhandlers.
67. Give them money if I wish.
68. Stop apologizing insincerely if I don’t.
69. Use my Shopper’s Optimum Points.
70. Buy an sinfully obvious sexy dress.

71. Kiss my son good-night every night (even if it’s over the phone).
72. Buy more socks, for the love of God!
73. Make a meal comprised entirely of food I bought in Wellington Village.
74. Organize the photo file on my computer.
75. Play through 10 generations of The Sims 3.

76. Take a 3-day minimum vacation all by myself.
77. Send the MoM away to play for 3-days minimum and keep the home fires burning all by myself.
78. Volunteer.
79. Try hot yoga.
80. Check out Haight-Ashbury.

81. Buy a pair of killer red heels.
82. Go dancing in the aforementioned killer red heels.
83. Attend an awards ceremony.
84. Put The Top 300 on my iPod (Steph and The MoM know what this means).
85. Go to bed at three a.m., stay there until noon.

86. Go to a CFL game with Colleen.
87. Go to a Blue Jays game with my father in-law.
88. Go to a Sens game with my brother-in-law.
89. Host a licorice tasting.
90. Meet Stephen Colbert.

91. Roast all of my turkeys upside-down.
92. Replace my skeevy old make-up brushes.
93. March in a pride parade.
94. Meet a friend for key lime pie.
95. Replace my bike helmet.

96. Buy a power suit.
97. Stay in my pyjamas for at least 24 hours.
98. Write a letter to an editor.
99. Be interviewed on CBC 1.
100. Lose my rock concert virgintity.

101. Survive.