Touch. Our bodies loved to be touched. Not only does consensual touching feel great, it does great things for our physical, emotional and psychological well-being.  Unfortunately, our society doesn’t encourage a whole lot of touchy feel-y outside of sex, which is ironic since non-sexual touching can create the sort of intimacy many people need to feel authentically sexual with a partner.

Massage techniques are a great way to expand your tactile repertoire. It’s lovely, generous way to connect with a partner or even explore your own body. Massage may spark something sexual and that’s totally okay. But it’s also good to remember that we can bestow physical pleasure on others or ourselves without it necessarily leading to sex.

A scented massage oil adds another sensual dimension to the experience. You can purchase pre made oils in various locations but I prefer to make my own. My do-it-yourself skills are a step below basic, but this recipe is, as The Bean would say, easy-peasy lemon-squeezy.

Check out me out in all my just-rolled-out-of-bed glory as I demonstrate below:

 

My departure from Ottawa is at hand. But first I have to make sure all my sexy essentials are packed and ready to ship out west. Check out the vlog below for a peek at my favourite books, toys and of course my box o’ porn!

Earlier this week, The Bean discovered a bunch condoms in my office, which led to the inevitable question, “What are these for?”

His question was a prime opportunity for me to hone my parenting and sex educatin’ skills. And to make a new video. Check it out here:


 

What unexpected questions have you had to answer about sex? How did it go? Do you have a practice kid? Feel free to share your experience in the comments.

Hey, peeps!

I’m taking a crack at video blogging (or vlogging as the kids call it). I’m still fumbling my way around the YouTubes, but once I get the hang of things this could work out well. Making videos may be a good fit in the new flow of my impending academic life.  And you guys get to see me in all of my early-morning, un-makeuped glory.

Keepin’ it real, folks…keepin’ it, real.

 

If you want to keep up with all the video fun, boogie on over to YouTube where you can subscribe to my channel and watch this rad video about how hard candy is made!

 

I’ve had a few questions recently about how to help a partner who’s struggling with body image issues and what to do if those issues affect their desire for sex.

I decided give my fingers a break from typing and do a video response instead. Remember viewers, I’m not a therapist or a counsellor – just a gal with some opinions and a video camera.

I’m also a gal who should tidy her bedroom. Hello, wayward sock in the background!

All right, enough with the disclaimers. Time for the video. Roll it!

 

 

I’ve found my way onto the talk show circuit. One show…that counts as a circuit, right?

Jesse Reynolds is a performer, local media personality and connoisseur of all things fabulous. We met years ago as fellow actors and formed an instant friendship. Sharing the stage with Jesse was such a blast! When he invited me to be a guest on his new show From Zero to Jesse, I couldn’t say yes fast enough.

Check out the episode below! Jesse and I chat about embarrassing sex stories, a real life fruit ninja and a few fun toys. We also put musical guest/best dressed man I’ve ever met, Danniel Oickle to the test in The Gay Electric Chair.

 

Aaand…we’re back!

Life took my best laid plans to scale back my blogging and turned them into a full scale hiatus. On the bleak side, I was plagued by a brutal flu, followed by a less intense but super-icky cold. Worst of all was the sudden death of a beloved family member just a couple of days before Christmas.

But the holiday hasn’t all been sickness and sad. The MoMs and I managed to pull together a pretty swank Christmas dinner, complete with prime rib roast and a successful first attempt at Yorkshire puddings. We went for our first family snowshoe through Gatineau park. I’ve also got some pretty exciting plans for the new year in the works…but that’s a subject for another post!

Right now I’m just glad to be back writing in the adorkable realm. And since this will be my final post of 2012, I thought it’d be fun to take a look back at my ten most popular posts from this past year, before taking the plunge into 2013!

Happy New Year, everyone!

 

1. My Favourite Things: Elvgren Pin Up Girls

2. It’s Not You, It’s Me. Well Actually, It’s Them

3. My Favourite Things: The Lelo Smart Wand (Video Review)

4. Plight of the Topless Woman

5. My Book Report On 50 Shades Of Gray

6. Why I Don’t Oppose Sex Selective Abortion

7. My Favourite Things: 50 Shades Of Snark

8. My Favourite Things: Dr. NerdLove

9. Sorry, But…

10. Princesses Are People Too. Why Kate Middleton Had Every Right To Be Topless.

 

 

photo by Ceridwen

It’s World Contraception Day! Celebrate and stick it to all those anti-choice, birth-control-denying haters…in song!

It’s possible that I’ve the Carly Rae Jespen original stuck in my head for several months now. Holla to my pal Courtney and The Radical Handmaids for passing this along. Thanks to these new lyrics people will stop looking at me funny when I start singing under my breath.

Oh wait…

Unlike yesterday’s offering, today’s video really is funny. Why offer comprehensive sexual health care, when folks can just wing it? A big, adorkable shout-out to Crystal for tweeting about this during my afternoon commute. Laugh-snorting water out of one’s nose is a great way to secure personal space on the bus.

 

As part of their media campaign for the 2013 Venza, Toyota is airing a series of new ads which feature characters driving the vehicle and extolling different virtues of their new ride.  I saw a few of these commercials during the Olympics and this one in particular caught my attention – by which, I mean it made my brain itchy with vexitude:

Ha ha ha!  He is SO whipped! High-five, Lady In The Commercial!  You have done your womanly duty and trained your husband like a pet! He pretends to like what you like. For a moment there it looked as though he was expressing a personal preference but you quickly squashed his independent opinion with a whole lotta stank face. You go, girl! Power imbalances are the new black!

Except, you know, NOT!

Nothing about this ad strikes me as cute. It’s some weaksauce humour that relies on what is perhaps my least favourite comedic trope: The Whatever-You-Want-Dear Marriage . While this particular commercial is far from the most extreme version I’ve seen, it demonstrates everything that peeves me about this gag in an efficient twelve seconds.

If I took this same ad, reversed the gender roles and added a few bars of melancholy piano music, I could use it as a PSA for emotional abuse.  I know we’re not meant to assume that the wife in this ad is a violent person. But can I infer that she’s rampaging control-freak?  Because only a rampaging control freak would be all ‘HOW DARE YOU NOT LIKE FOLD DOWN SEATS AS MUCH AS ME!*’

Being a douche to your spouse. Nope, not seeing the funny in that. Nor do I see what’s funny about the husband’s sheepish and somewhat befuddled redaction. I mostly feel bad for him. I think the producers of the commercial intend for our reaction to be a sympathic, light-hearted “Whoa, dude! You messed up.” But when “messing up” in a relationship is “I like different things than my partner,” that strikes me as problematic, not hilarious.

“But Nadine,” some might tell me, ” that’s just how marriage is.”

I also don’t accept that these dynamics are the inevitable consequence of long-term coupledom. Yes time changes people and the feelings they have for one another. Partners can grow apart or circumstances change what was once a happy relationship into something that doesn’t work so well anymore. What I don’t accept is the idea that over time all relationships invariably devolve into oppression and being mean to each other, so we might as well throw our hands up and laugh because, hey – that’s just what a marriage is.

I’ve been with my partner for sixteen years. Like any other long-term couple The Man of Mans and I have conflict and moments when we just bug the hell out of each other. But for the most part I really like him. I want to be kind to my spouse, not quash his opinions – even though I have strong suspicions that he really doesn’t like our car’s fold down seats as much as I do.

This  isn’t to say that I’m great at marriage or that all relationships should be like mine.  But when people tell me that marriage “just becomes” tedious and restrictive, I object. I really, really hope there isn’t an inevitable point in our future when The MoMs doesn’t feel free to express an preference that differs from mine. I don’t want badger my partner into a submissive yes man who obediently parrots my every opinion. I don’t ever want my relationship to be what I see in that commercial. Because that shit? Ain’t funny.

 

*Unless ‘Fold Down Seats’ is some kind of secret code and I missed the point of the ad entirely . If so, I take back everything I’ve just written.