My departure from Ottawa is at hand. But first I have to make sure all my sexy essentials are packed and ready to ship out west. Check out the vlog below for a peek at my favourite books, toys and of course my box o’ porn!

I know, I know. I’ve already touted the gender egalitarian hawtness of Feminist Ryan Gosling. But  it turns out that FRG the tumblr was just the beginning. Get ready to swoon, bibliophiles!

 

IT’S A BOOK!!!!

According to reviews, author and queen of clever, Danielle Henderson has created a whack of new content, garnished it with the best of the website and bound it into a single volume of brain-porn! I’m excited. And by excited, I mean that I now know what to get for all those fabulous feminist on my gift list.

And by excited, I also mean that I have happy feelings…in my pants.

 

 

 

photo by Harrywad

Early this year mini mega-star, Willow Smith chopped off her hair-whipping locks in favour of a super-short ‘do.  A whole ‘lot of people got all kinds of upset because OH NOES, SHE’S ONLY ELEVEN and ACK SHORT HAIRS R 4 BOYZ and HER EXCEPTIONALLY TALENTED, GOOD LOOKING PARENTS MUST BE REALLY PARENTS!!!!

Last week, the exceptionally talented Jada Pinkett-Smith confirmed that she’s exceptionally rad at being a parent. She took to Facebook to share the lessons she wants to teach her daughter about her hair, her body and her choices.

 

Steel cock rings

A cock ring is a ring…that fits around the cock. Apparently the person who named it favoured the obvious.

More specifically a cock ring is a snug band worn around the base of the penis (and sometimes the testicles as well). They work by blocking the flow of blood out of the penis, which can create longer, more tumescent erections. The “rings” are made from a variety of materials and may be ring shaped, but may also be oblong, tear dropped or have interesting adornments to make your package all fancy pants.

Rope-style ring

I’m a gal who very much enjoys the aesthetics of dick au naturel; however, I dig the cock ring for it’s simple functional brilliance. D Erections occur when blood flows in through vessels deep inside the shaft of the penis. Conversely, when the penis returns to flaccid state when blood leaves through vessels near the surface of the skin. A cock ring puts pressure on those external blood vessels, while the ones deep inside remain wide open. Blood comes in, but it can’t get out. And that puts the “hard” in hard-on.

Some people are old pros when it comes to using cock rings. But if you’re trying one for the first time, here are a few things to consider:

  • If you put a cock ring around your flaccid penis, make sure the fit is snug but not tight. A tight fit on a soft cock will get significantly tighter when you’re hard. This is especially important if you’re using something like a metal ring, which can’t be removed easily once you’ve got an erection. If you’re unsure, better to wait and decorate the general with they’re standing at full attention.
  • Adjustable rings are a great option for beginners and pros alike. There are many options in flexible materials such as leather, silicone, nylon cord, jelly vinyl and rubber that allow you to customize the fit and easily adjust or remove the ring if the fit isn’t right.

Leather cock ring with snaps

  • Be sure to remove the ring after 20 minutes or so, so you risk any blood vessel damage.
  • Do you know that there are cock rings that come with a small vibrator attached? Bonus good time feelings and you can share them with a partner!

Vibrating jelly vinyl cock ring

On its own, the penis is a pretty cool phenomenon. But increased pleasure through the penile power of hydraulics? If you like it, why not put a ring on it?

 

Feel the excitement!

I love reunions!

I’m not talking about the high school variety. I’ve never experienced one, though movies have led me to believe it will be a wacky night of poseur hijinks and the eventual realization I’m better off than the cool kids all set to Simple Minds’ ‘Don’t You Forget About Me’.

But today I’m talking about a much anticipated reunion with The Man of Mans!  He’s been in Bejing for the past ten days doing business-y things but that’s all done now. Tonight he’s coming home!!

Ten days may not seem like a terribly long time. I certainly know couples who have easily endured much longer separations. But this has been the most time we’ve spent apart in well over a decade.  As such, I’m jump-up-and-squee excited that my best friend will be back in our bed tonight!

It’s also been my longest stint of solo parenting. In the past, I’ve relied on my family to step in and give me hand when The MoMs is away. This time I decided to go it alone. Although I wasn’t really  alone.  I’ve gotta give props to The Green Bean. He has been all kinds of excellent since his dad left : helpful, co-operative and full of hugs. Seriously, the kid has shown unprecedented levels of awesome this week.

Yesterday I saw my shrink. I told her that I’d been nervous about taking charge of our family fort all alone. The MoMs is a partner in the true sense of the word. We do the heavy lifting of raising our child and running our home together and as such, I rely on him a great deal. So I was pleased to discover that I was able to manage reasonably on my own – at least temporarily.  And as I said to Shrink, although I’ve missed The MoMs immensely, the silver lining is realizing that it’s not because I need him. I just like him an awful lot. I cannot wait to see him again!!

So calloo callay! My reunion is but a few hours away! I’ve done okay during my time alone but I am more than ready to have my partner back!

This past weekend I hopped the train for Toronto and Blissdom, Canada’s marquis social media conference for women.

Stepping and repeating with fellow blogger, Julie Harrison.

I expected a lot from the event.  Industry experts sharing tips and tricks of trade. Lots of chatty time with interesting people doing interesting things. Scads of swag. And the weekend didn’t disappoint. Blissdom gave me everything I’d been expecting…and something I wasn’t.

I was not expecting the sexy.

That’s right. Blissdom gave me warm, tingly conference feels thanks to a couple of  outstanding famous people encounters! Though techincally my first encounter wasn’t with a person; it was with several! A magnificent team in hot pink representing my favourite menstrual product: Diva Cup!

I had no idea Diva Cup was one of the conference sponsors, so when I happened upon their booth I went full-fledged fangirl, gushing and squeeing to everyone within earshot about how ZOMG! DIVA CUPS ARE THE BEST EVAR and EEEEE! I LURVE THEM THE MOST!

What can I say?  Diva Cups warrant unbridled enthusiasm.

This is what a fangirl looks like!

Later the same day, I joined my fellow conferencees for some post-lunch guest speaking. The first person to grace the stage was none other than Q host and secret celebrity crush, Jian Ghomeshi!

He spoke to us about growing up as the lone Iranian kid in Thornhill, a decidedly non-Iranian suburb of Toronto. The memories he shared were the inspiration for his recently released memoir, 1982. His stories and the excerpts he read delighted the audience and propelled my crush to new soaring heights!

After the speaking, Ghomeshi The Witty And Handsome stuck around for meeting, greeting and book signing. Of course, I nabbed a copy and got my smitten ass in line. Not wanting a repeat of my Diva Cup flail, I tried to think of clever things I would say when my turn came up.

Hi, Jian. What a coincidence! You grew up in Thornhill. My name is Thornhill!  What?! No!.

Hi, Jian. Do you know that you and my partner went to the same high school? Which would be interesting if The Man of Mans were here instead of me.

Hi, Jian. Remember that time you were in Moxy Fruvous and did that bitchin’ cover of ‘Green Eggs And Ham’? For the love of pants, brain, I said clever! Think of clever things to say!

But thinking time was over. I was at the front of line, face to face with the man who’s interviewing genius makes me weak in the knees.

“Hello, Nadine,” he said warmly, before I had a chance to speak.

Holy balls!  I thought, Jian Ghomeshi knows who I am!

A  moment later I realized that Jian Ghomeshi knows how to read name tags. I was wearing a big one clipped on the breast pocket of my jacket. But it felt like he knew who I was. And that friendly familiar greeting brought me frantic fan to feeling relaxed and comfortable.

He asked what I did and what had brought me to Blissdom. When I told him I was sex educator, he eagerly insisted I tune in on Monday to hear his conversation with Junot Diaz, who’s most recent short-story collection is about love, relationships and sexy stuffs. I also mentioned the interview he had done with Dr. Ruth earlier this summer.

“Yeah. I still have to go on my date with her,” he told me. I didn’t know which one I envied more, Jian or the good doctor.

He asked if I’d like to take a picture together. “Sure,” I replied in my best I-have-my-picture-taken-with-brilliant-good-looking-people-all-the-time voice.

A moment of bliss!

 

I said thank you and good-bye. A few minutes later, I sat down to check out my 100% authentic Jian Ghomeshi signature. I thought I’d only see the scrawl of his name on the inside cover. Instead I read this:

For Nadine,

Please understand it’s critical but loving words on Thornhill

Yours (with a smile),

Jian Ghomeshi

Thornhill represent!

Yep. Blissdom definitely exceeded my expectations. :-)

 

 

Good Vibrations: the mother of all sex shops!

In keeping with this week’s theme of sex-positivity, I thought I’d shed the spotlight on some wicked retailers who have made it their business to provide customers with an inclusive, inviting, educational place to do their sexy shopping.

The Art of Loving (Vancouver, BC)

Not only do these folks sell an array of toys, clothing and safer sex gear, they are on a mission to enhance pleasure and spread the word about sex positivity!

Babeland (New York, NY. Seattle, WA.)

Formerly known as Toys in Babeland, this store is about so much more than just vibes. These folks sell just about sexy product you can think of! They also have an amazing resource-rich wesbite with everything from sex advice to educational video guides!

Come As You Are (Toronto, Ontario)

A retail collective run by a wonderful gang of sex-nerds who just want to help you enjoy whatever type of sex you like best. In addition to toys, fetish gear and safer sex paraphernalia, CAYA also has a very impressive selection of sex-positive porn.

Good For Her (Toronto, Ontario)

GFH offers special women and trans-only shopping hours on Sundays and welcomes patrons of any gender identity throughout the week. In addition to the retail business, GFH are big supporters of Toronto’s feminist and LGBTTQQ community. They are also founders of the smutty and fabulous Feminist Porn Awards!

Good Vibrations (San Francisco, CA. Berkley, CA. Oakland, CA. Brookline, MA)

The sex selling institution that started it all! These San Francisco folk came up with the radical idea that sex toys could and should be sold in clean well-lit stores by friendly, knowledgable staff. Thirty-five years later,  that idea has become a retail movement and Good Vibrations has six fab locations plus an antique vibrator museum!

Smitten Kitten (Minneapolis, MN)

These sex-savvy Minnesota sellers having been giving their customers the straight-up low-down on sex and pleasure for a decade. The store offers an extensive line of BDSM gear and vegan-friendly products. If you’re not from the land of a thousand lakes, fear not! The Kitten offers international shipping and reasonable rates!

Venus Envy (Ottawa, ON. Halifax, NS)

My home town favourite! VE is an Ottawa institution that’s come a long way from it’s one-woman, home-based start in Halifax, Nova Scotia. Today it boasts two locations which both offer toys, books, safer sex gear and host of sexy, educational workshops!

Womyn’s Ware (Vancouver, BC)

Don’t let the name fool you! While the store is owned and run by women, it is friendly to customers of all gender identites. The founders believe that sexual pleasure is possible for anyone and sell an array of fun, frisky products to help you get there!

Are you a fan of one of these stores? Do you have a favourite sex positive shopping spot that deserves a mention? Let me know about it in the comments!

 

 

 

Image by bixentro

I may not be the kinkiest gal around but I must confess that I do enjoy a little corporal play from time to to time.

Spanking is a practice that’s intrigued me for as long as I could remember. As a girl, I discovered victorian novels with their descriptions of characters forced to endure a good licking and they fascinated me. I’m a big fan of the ass in general. My desire for the occasional tanning just seems to be part of my sexual nature.

Erotic spanking is also known as corporal play, corporal punishment or spankophilia. It includes a spectrum of activities from a gentle hand-smack on the bum to intense punishment with a cane or flogger. It may be an sex-act unto itself or it can happen as part of role play, age play, domination and submission, bondage or other forms of kink.

I’m definitely not an expert when it comes to spanking; however I do have a few beginner tips to share with those of who are inspired by the idea of smackdown and are thinking of trying it out for the first time:

1. Use Your Words

Ideally, consent is always the precursor to trying something new with our sexual partners. Especially when that something new involves potential pain or punishment. Never haul off and slap an unsuspecting someone in the middle of sex!  Sure, there’s a possibility you’re getting them off. But there’s also the possibility that you’re triggering bad memories, scaring them, confusing them, shocking them out of the moment or hurting them…in a bad way.

Also? It’s rude.

If spanking is something you’d like to try, talk to your partner first. Make sure you’re on the same page in terms of exactly what you’d like to try and how far you want to go. Air and address any concerns or fears you might have before dropping your drawers.

2. Do Your Research

Once you’ve opened the lines of communication, you may be drop your drawers and take your licks. Power to you! But if you’re still not sure exactly how you’d like to proceed, I recommend finding a few cheeky role models to emulate. There’s lots of book and film porn dedicated to corporal play.  Investigate some steamy spanky scenes and see which scenarios inspire you.  If you’re more empirically-minded books like The Compleat Spanker and Consensual Spanking provide a bevy of information and advice in a straight-forward, non-fiction format.

3. Try Before You Buy 

Some people who are new to spanking are happy to keep things strictly hands on. But if you think you’d prefer to use a tool of the trade, know that not all implements are created equal. There are a host of options: canes, floggers, paddles, crops, whips, mitts, paddles and more. They’re available in every size, colour and shape imaginable. If you’re shopping for swat-gear and you’re not sure how intense a toy might be, try striking yourself on the inside of your lower arm. It will help you gauge the level of sensation you can expect on your bum.

Spanking can be an intense, exciting addition to your sexual repertoire. So if it’s something that’s got you curious chat with your partner. If they’re game why not give it try? You’ll be amazed how good it can feel to hit bottom!

EAT ALL THE CANDY!

You know what I love? Sugar. And candy. And sugary candy.

And though this is a post about one of my favourite things, it is not a post about candy. Though it does make me supremely happy. I would eat it more – almost exclusively, if I could. Unfortunately, my doctor has recommended that I cut waaaay back on the sweetstuffs, lest I develop troublesome conditions such as diabetes or dying.

So my intention is to keep my super-sweet indulgences to a minimum. I will miss them. Still, I have the cherished memory of the that in high school when I discharged an entire can of whipped cream into a mixing bowl and ate it while watching The Three Amigos. It was infinitely more pleasurable than the first time I had intercourse.

Fortunately, I’ve become better at sex since my first attempt. Good enough that substituting sugar lust with actual lust seems like a viable strategy when cravings hit.*  Rather than gobble up a bag of green apple licorice (*drools*), I’ll try devouring some of my favourite book porn. And who better to read than my literary crush and fellow candyphile, Steve Almond.

When I read Steve Almond’s book  Candyfreak: A Journey Through America’s Chocolate Underbelly , he immediately secured place in my heart. Initially my adoration was strcitly platonic; the kind of love you feel for someone who is clearly your kindred spirit. Reading Candyfreak was like reading my own brain. I finished the book and I was so sad to learn that Almond lives in Massachusetts which made it unlikely that we would cross paths. What the hell good is a kindred spirit that you’ll never meet?

Later I learned that Steve Almond writes a kinds of stuff. Like erotic short fiction. Like really, really, good erotic fiction. Feelings were stirred. To date one, my favourite piece of Almond-smut is Slippy For President. It’s word-porn with a quintessentially nerdy protagonist that does magnificent things to my most private parts! Dude is one sexy mofo!

His novel Which Brings Me To You (Co-Authored with Julianna Baggott – the lucky gal!) is the kind smart, contemporary romance of my dreams!

Steve Almond knows Susie Bright. Knowing Susie Bright instantly gives you 10 extra sexy point in my book.

So yeah, cutting back on the sugar will be a challenge. Fortunately, I’ve got the sweet words of Steve Almond to soothe my withdrawal symptoms. Meanwhile, if you’re not familiar with his work, I suggest check out some Almond-joy as soon as possible. He will rock your pants…or lack thereof!

*Speaking of lust, things have definitely improved since last week’s post – thank for all the great advice, peeps!

photo by Ceridwen

It’s World Contraception Day! Celebrate and stick it to all those anti-choice, birth-control-denying haters…in song!

It’s possible that I’ve the Carly Rae Jespen original stuck in my head for several months now. Holla to my pal Courtney and The Radical Handmaids for passing this along. Thanks to these new lyrics people will stop looking at me funny when I start singing under my breath.

Oh wait…