My departure from Ottawa is at hand. But first I have to make sure all my sexy essentials are packed and ready to ship out west. Check out the vlog below for a peek at my favourite books, toys and of course my box o’ porn!
I know, I know. I’ve already touted the gender egalitarian hawtness of Feminist Ryan Gosling. But it turns out that FRG the tumblr was just the beginning. Get ready to swoon, bibliophiles!
IT’S A BOOK!!!!
According to reviews, author and queen of clever, Danielle Henderson has created a whack of new content, garnished it with the best of the website and bound it into a single volume of brain-porn! I’m excited. And by excited, I mean that I now know what to get for all those fabulous feminist on my gift list.
And by excited, I also mean that I have happy feelings…in my pants.
A cock ring is a ring…that fits around the cock. Apparently the person who named it favoured the obvious.
More specifically a cock ring is a snug band worn around the base of the penis (and sometimes the testicles as well). They work by blocking the flow of blood out of the penis, which can create longer, more tumescent erections. The “rings” are made from a variety of materials and may be ring shaped, but may also be oblong, tear dropped or have interesting adornments to make your package all fancy pants.
I’m a gal who very much enjoys the aesthetics of dick au naturel; however, I dig the cock ring for it’s simple functional brilliance. D Erections occur when blood flows in through vessels deep inside the shaft of the penis. Conversely, when the penis returns to flaccid state when blood leaves through vessels near the surface of the skin. A cock ring puts pressure on those external blood vessels, while the ones deep inside remain wide open. Blood comes in, but it can’t get out. And that puts the “hard” in hard-on.
Some people are old pros when it comes to using cock rings. But if you’re trying one for the first time, here are a few things to consider:
- If you put a cock ring around your flaccid penis, make sure the fit is snug but not tight. A tight fit on a soft cock will get significantly tighter when you’re hard. This is especially important if you’re using something like a metal ring, which can’t be removed easily once you’ve got an erection. If you’re unsure, better to wait and decorate the general with they’re standing at full attention.
- Adjustable rings are a great option for beginners and pros alike. There are many options in flexible materials such as leather, silicone, nylon cord, jelly vinyl and rubber that allow you to customize the fit and easily adjust or remove the ring if the fit isn’t right.
- Be sure to remove the ring after 20 minutes or so, so you risk any blood vessel damage.
- Do you know that there are cock rings that come with a small vibrator attached? Bonus good time feelings and you can share them with a partner!
On its own, the penis is a pretty cool phenomenon. But increased pleasure through the penile power of hydraulics? If you like it, why not put a ring on it?
I love reunions!
I’m not talking about the high school variety. I’ve never experienced one, though movies have led me to believe it will be a wacky night of poseur hijinks and the eventual realization I’m better off than the cool kids all set to Simple Minds’ ‘Don’t You Forget About Me’.
But today I’m talking about a much anticipated reunion with The Man of Mans! He’s been in Bejing for the past ten days doing business-y things but that’s all done now. Tonight he’s coming home!!
Ten days may not seem like a terribly long time. I certainly know couples who have easily endured much longer separations. But this has been the most time we’ve spent apart in well over a decade. As such, I’m jump-up-and-squee excited that my best friend will be back in our bed tonight!
It’s also been my longest stint of solo parenting. In the past, I’ve relied on my family to step in and give me hand when The MoMs is away. This time I decided to go it alone. Although I wasn’t really alone. I’ve gotta give props to The Green Bean. He has been all kinds of excellent since his dad left : helpful, co-operative and full of hugs. Seriously, the kid has shown unprecedented levels of awesome this week.
Yesterday I saw my shrink. I told her that I’d been nervous about taking charge of our family fort all alone. The MoMs is a partner in the true sense of the word. We do the heavy lifting of raising our child and running our home together and as such, I rely on him a great deal. So I was pleased to discover that I was able to manage reasonably on my own – at least temporarily. And as I said to Shrink, although I’ve missed The MoMs immensely, the silver lining is realizing that it’s not because I need him. I just like him an awful lot. I cannot wait to see him again!!
So calloo callay! My reunion is but a few hours away! I’ve done okay during my time alone but I am more than ready to have my partner back!
In keeping with this week’s theme of sex-positivity, I thought I’d shed the spotlight on some wicked retailers who have made it their business to provide customers with an inclusive, inviting, educational place to do their sexy shopping.
The Art of Loving (Vancouver, BC)
Not only do these folks sell an array of toys, clothing and safer sex gear, they are on a mission to enhance pleasure and spread the word about sex positivity!
Babeland (New York, NY. Seattle, WA.)
Formerly known as Toys in Babeland, this store is about so much more than just vibes. These folks sell just about sexy product you can think of! They also have an amazing resource-rich wesbite with everything from sex advice to educational video guides!
Come As You Are (Toronto, Ontario)
A retail collective run by a wonderful gang of sex-nerds who just want to help you enjoy whatever type of sex you like best. In addition to toys, fetish gear and safer sex paraphernalia, CAYA also has a very impressive selection of sex-positive porn.
Good For Her (Toronto, Ontario)
GFH offers special women and trans-only shopping hours on Sundays and welcomes patrons of any gender identity throughout the week. In addition to the retail business, GFH are big supporters of Toronto’s feminist and LGBTTQQ community. They are also founders of the smutty and fabulous Feminist Porn Awards!
Good Vibrations (San Francisco, CA. Berkley, CA. Oakland, CA. Brookline, MA)
The sex selling institution that started it all! These San Francisco folk came up with the radical idea that sex toys could and should be sold in clean well-lit stores by friendly, knowledgable staff. Thirty-five years later, that idea has become a retail movement and Good Vibrations has six fab locations plus an antique vibrator museum!
Smitten Kitten (Minneapolis, MN)
These sex-savvy Minnesota sellers having been giving their customers the straight-up low-down on sex and pleasure for a decade. The store offers an extensive line of BDSM gear and vegan-friendly products. If you’re not from the land of a thousand lakes, fear not! The Kitten offers international shipping and reasonable rates!
Venus Envy (Ottawa, ON. Halifax, NS)
My home town favourite! VE is an Ottawa institution that’s come a long way from it’s one-woman, home-based start in Halifax, Nova Scotia. Today it boasts two locations which both offer toys, books, safer sex gear and host of sexy, educational workshops!
Womyn’s Ware (Vancouver, BC)
Don’t let the name fool you! While the store is owned and run by women, it is friendly to customers of all gender identites. The founders believe that sexual pleasure is possible for anyone and sell an array of fun, frisky products to help you get there!
Are you a fan of one of these stores? Do you have a favourite sex positive shopping spot that deserves a mention? Let me know about it in the comments!
I may not be the kinkiest gal around but I must confess that I do enjoy a little corporal play from time to to time.
Spanking is a practice that’s intrigued me for as long as I could remember. As a girl, I discovered victorian novels with their descriptions of characters forced to endure a good licking and they fascinated me. I’m a big fan of the ass in general. My desire for the occasional tanning just seems to be part of my sexual nature.
Erotic spanking is also known as corporal play, corporal punishment or spankophilia. It includes a spectrum of activities from a gentle hand-smack on the bum to intense punishment with a cane or flogger. It may be an sex-act unto itself or it can happen as part of role play, age play, domination and submission, bondage or other forms of kink.
I’m definitely not an expert when it comes to spanking; however I do have a few beginner tips to share with those of who are inspired by the idea of smackdown and are thinking of trying it out for the first time:
1. Use Your Words
Ideally, consent is always the precursor to trying something new with our sexual partners. Especially when that something new involves potential pain or punishment. Never haul off and slap an unsuspecting someone in the middle of sex! Sure, there’s a possibility you’re getting them off. But there’s also the possibility that you’re triggering bad memories, scaring them, confusing them, shocking them out of the moment or hurting them…in a bad way.
Also? It’s rude.
If spanking is something you’d like to try, talk to your partner first. Make sure you’re on the same page in terms of exactly what you’d like to try and how far you want to go. Air and address any concerns or fears you might have before dropping your drawers.
2. Do Your Research
Once you’ve opened the lines of communication, you may be drop your drawers and take your licks. Power to you! But if you’re still not sure exactly how you’d like to proceed, I recommend finding a few cheeky role models to emulate. There’s lots of book and film porn dedicated to corporal play. Investigate some steamy spanky scenes and see which scenarios inspire you. If you’re more empirically-minded books like The Compleat Spanker and Consensual Spanking provide a bevy of information and advice in a straight-forward, non-fiction format.
3. Try Before You Buy
Some people who are new to spanking are happy to keep things strictly hands on. But if you think you’d prefer to use a tool of the trade, know that not all implements are created equal. There are a host of options: canes, floggers, paddles, crops, whips, mitts, paddles and more. They’re available in every size, colour and shape imaginable. If you’re shopping for swat-gear and you’re not sure how intense a toy might be, try striking yourself on the inside of your lower arm. It will help you gauge the level of sensation you can expect on your bum.
Spanking can be an intense, exciting addition to your sexual repertoire. So if it’s something that’s got you curious chat with your partner. If they’re game why not give it try? You’ll be amazed how good it can feel to hit bottom!
You know what I love? Sugar. And candy. And sugary candy.
And though this is a post about one of my favourite things, it is not a post about candy. Though it does make me supremely happy. I would eat it more – almost exclusively, if I could. Unfortunately, my doctor has recommended that I cut waaaay back on the sweetstuffs, lest I develop troublesome conditions such as diabetes or dying.
So my intention is to keep my super-sweet indulgences to a minimum. I will miss them. Still, I have the cherished memory of the that in high school when I discharged an entire can of whipped cream into a mixing bowl and ate it while watching The Three Amigos. It was infinitely more pleasurable than the first time I had intercourse.
Fortunately, I’ve become better at sex since my first attempt. Good enough that substituting sugar lust with actual lust seems like a viable strategy when cravings hit.* Rather than gobble up a bag of green apple licorice (*drools*), I’ll try devouring some of my favourite book porn. And who better to read than my literary crush and fellow candyphile, Steve Almond.
When I read Steve Almond’s book Candyfreak: A Journey Through America’s Chocolate Underbelly , he immediately secured place in my heart. Initially my adoration was strcitly platonic; the kind of love you feel for someone who is clearly your kindred spirit. Reading Candyfreak was like reading my own brain. I finished the book and I was so sad to learn that Almond lives in Massachusetts which made it unlikely that we would cross paths. What the hell good is a kindred spirit that you’ll never meet?
Later I learned that Steve Almond writes a kinds of stuff. Like erotic short fiction. Like really, really, good erotic fiction. Feelings were stirred. To date one, my favourite piece of Almond-smut is Slippy For President. It’s word-porn with a quintessentially nerdy protagonist that does magnificent things to my most private parts! Dude is one sexy mofo!
His novel Which Brings Me To You (Co-Authored with Julianna Baggott – the lucky gal!) is the kind smart, contemporary romance of my dreams!
Steve Almond knows Susie Bright. Knowing Susie Bright instantly gives you 10 extra sexy point in my book.
So yeah, cutting back on the sugar will be a challenge. Fortunately, I’ve got the sweet words of Steve Almond to soothe my withdrawal symptoms. Meanwhile, if you’re not familiar with his work, I suggest check out some Almond-joy as soon as possible. He will rock your pants…or lack thereof!
*Speaking of lust, things have definitely improved since last week’s post – thank for all the great advice, peeps!
It’s World Contraception Day! Celebrate and stick it to all those anti-choice, birth-control-denying haters…in song!
It’s possible that I’ve the Carly Rae Jespen original stuck in my head for several months now. Holla to my pal Courtney and The Radical Handmaids for passing this along. Thanks to these new lyrics people will stop looking at me funny when I start singing under my breath.