On Saturday I will be 37. And while that’s clear evidence that I’m growing older chronologically, I still look forward to my birthday with child-like (or more accurately, childish) excitement.

I’m jazzed about this birthday but I’m also aware that my 40th is tantalizingly close. I have to admit I’ve been looking forward to hitting that milestone for a long time.  Assuming I still have health, love, family and friendship in my life, making it to forty definitely feels like  accomplishment. And I’m almost there! Almost, but not quite.

I see the big 4-0 in the distance. But I must remember that life is journey and I should enjoy the ride. I should also eat fewer fortune cookies, because I’m starting to sound like one. Basically, I’m excited about turning forty but I also want to be excited about the three years before that happens.


I’ve made a list. My 40 Before 40.

Long time readers of this blog and its predecessor, Adorkable Thespian, may remember my 101 in 1001. It was a list of 101 things I would attempt to do in 1,001 days. My time on that list expired a couple of weeks ago (If anyone is curious, I completed 58 of the 101 items). So this seemed like the perfect time to gear up  and ride out my thirties with a new set of goals.

The 40 Before 40 is a  list of forty things I hope to do before I celebrate my fortieth birthday. Will I achieve them all? Unlikely. Will I have fun trying? Hopefully.  As with the 101 in 1001, I’ll likely post about my progress as I check certain tasks off the list. I’ll begin on Saturday when I will attempt to bake my own birthday cake.  It all wraps up November 2nd, 2015 – the eve of my 40th birthday!

Here we go…


1. Bake a cake from scratch.

2. Make a coconut cream pie for my dad.

3. Perfect a French fry recipe.

4. Co-host a Passover seder.

5. Get a non-ugly, non-holiday themed apron.


6. Go to grad school.

7. Earn my Master’s in Human Sexuality.

8. Live in San Francisco.

9. Attend a SAR.

10. Become an AASECT certified sexuality educator.


11. Write a book.

12. Speak at a conference.

13. Run my own sexuality workshop/seminar.

14. Plant a vegetable garden.

15.Don’t kill the vegetable garden.


16. Teach The Green Bean to ride his bike without training wheels.

17. Take The Green Bean to an San Francisco Giant’s game.

18. Take The Green Bean to lunch at Shopsy’s.

19. Run the National Capital 5K with The Green Bean.

20. Compete in a duathlon.


21. Go cross country skiing.

22. Go downhill skking.

23. Skate the length of the Rideau Canal.

24. Master backwards roller skating.

25. Learn to skate-jump.


26. Learn to make my own burlesque costumes.

27. Perform in a burlesque show outside of Ottawa.

28. Take a burlesque class/workshop.

29. Attend the Feminist Porn Awards in Toronto.

30. Visit The Museum of Sex.


31. Visit The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

32. Visit Danielle in Seattle.

33. Visit Corsica.

34. Rent a cottage and relax for a week.

35. Take some yoga classes.


36. Organize my closet.

37. Consign some unwanted clothes.

38. Get a pair of beautiful yellow pumps.

39. Have a new family portrait done.

40. Plan a celebration for my 15th wedding anniversary.




Loud and proud!

101 in 1001 goal number 93: March in a pride parade.

Working with Planned Parenthood has many perks, not the least of which is the opportunity to take part in the Ottawa’s Pride Parade.

The work I do isn’t always suitable for children, but the parade is something we can do as a family.  The Man of Mans, while unwavering in his support of sexual and gender diversity, has a passionate dislike of costume.  Even if his tidy polo and khaki shorts make him odd person out in the Pride processional, he sticks to his guns.

I on the other hand…

…will seize any opportunity to dress like an insane disco clown!

This is the first year that my son (henceforth known as The Green Bean) has asked what the parade is actually about. As the sex educator in the household, I’d like to tell you that I answered his question with smooth, socially sensitive aplomb.  But his question gave me pause.

I like to think of myself as an accepting, open-minded person. But I’m also a straight-identified, cis-gendered woman.  As much as I try to be a good ally, sometimes I fuck it up. But I don’t want to. And I really don’t want to fuck it up with my kid.  But sometimes, I do worry that I will inadvertantly imbue him with some deeply-entrenched bias of mine.

So while I was furrowing my brow about how to answer  The Bean’s question, The MoMs spoke up and said, “The parade is for people who think it’s okay for us to love anyone we want and be anyone we want.”

I may have the professional lens, but it’s The MoMs who sees it like it is.