Where do I go from here?

It’s a question I’ve been asking myself for the past several weeks, as I try to figure out exactly what I want to be doing over here in the Adorkable Realm.

I’ve ventured beyond the boundaries of this space in terms of blogging. I’ve got a regular feature over at the Yummy Mummy Club, where I write about vibrators, representations of sex in the media and relationship stuff. I’m also a monthly contributor for Already Pretty, which is where a lot of my body-image pieces are landing. Meanwhile, in my offline life, I’m honing and refining my sex educator skills through school and my AASECT mentorship. I’m becoming less of a sex-generalist and slowly working my way towards becoming a child and youth sexuality specialist.

Basically a lot of information is coming in and a lot of content is going out but very little of it is landing here. For a long time, Adorkable Undies was the clearing house for every bit of sex and/or gender-related I had churning in my brain. Now that I have other outlets, I’m trying to decide what I want to post here. What do I have to share, that I’m not sharing elsewhere?

I’ve been pondering, considering, musing and doing some plain old thinking and I’ve decided my best options boil down to these two:

Option The First – Keep It Professional.

I can use this blog as space to write about topics related to my studies and eventually, my sexuality education practice. I can ruminate on issues related to child and youth sexuality. There’s so much I could tackle: talking to kids about sex, media influences, gender norms, gender variance, orientation, dating, parenting quandaries, porn on the Internet, porn off the Internet, resources, social influences, etc, etc, etc. Tailoring this blog to fit in with my speciality is a basically a big, meaty potential sandwich, with a side of hot crispy sensible, as the time I spend writing will directly support and promote my professional services.

Option The Second: Get Personal

In the  years since I’ve been blogging here, I’ve noticed that it’s often the personal posts that illicit the most response. As much as it’s fun to be all expert-y expert, something really nice happens when I let it all hang out. I’ve written about my struggles with anxiety and low libido, my misadventures in parenting and my issues with self-image and you’re so kind and supportive. And you talk, to me and to each other, which makes my heart all big and glow-y! I like being open. I like sharing (sometime oversharing) about my life. But I worry. Will a potential client want my educational services after Googling my name and reading about my masturbatory foibles? Not to mention that while y’all are bomb, the Internet At Large is not always a kind place for women with opinions about the things I have opinions on.

What to do? What to do? I’m going to keep thinking about it. And if you have any ideas or input, I could really, really use some outside influence right now. Opinions, options and all thoughts are most welcome in the comments!

I used the term “y’all” twice in one post. Living in America is having an affect.



Greetings from sunny California!

Well, sunny save for the reliable cover of fog that blankets my neighbourhood first thing most mornings. But this is Bay Area – a bit of grey is par for the course.

When I last left you, I was packing up my sex toys and saying good-bye to Ottawa. Since then, I’ve driven across the United States with my family, settled into our for-now home in the lovely city of Berkeley and spent my summer days being a stay-at-home parent, exploring my new surroundings and having a good-old summer vacation. But I owe you peeps an apology. I’m sorry. I should have given you the heads-up before going on hiatus. To be honest, the break wasn’t planned, but after all the moving, travel and change it was very much needed.

Now we’re into fall and I’m about to rejoin the back-to-school ranks. I’ll be starting my graduate studies in San Francisco next week, which both intimidates and excites me to no end. Before I start the book learnin’ I’m heading down to Los Angeles this weekend for the Catalyst Con sexuality conference. Attendees include some of my big-time sexuality idols such as Arial Clark, Charlie Glickman, Mona Darling, Nina Hartley and Tristan Taormino, so that’s an extra-helping of excitement!

BTW, if anyone has a smoother introduction than my standard “OMG YOU ARE THE COOLEST EVAR!!!”  please share it.

I’m thrilled to be back to blogging but with heavy schoolwork looming, my output won’t be what it was. At this point, I feel comfortable committing to a minimum of one new post a week. Sometimes there may be more, depending on what’s going down at the time but expect at least a once weekly update.

The other minor change I want to alert you to, is my new e-mail address. My old client had terrible spam filters and I lost a lot of your messages. So I’ve decided to switch to tried and true Gmail. If you have a question or a request, drop me a line at adorkableundies@gmail.com. E-mailing guidelines are here!

Anyway, enough about me –  how are YOU? What did you get up to this summer? What’s exciting you about the fall season? If you met one of your idols would you be cool and gracious or full of squee?

Photo by austinmcgee

Hi peeps,

I was hoping to have a thoughtful and pithy entry for y’all today, but alas, sometimes life gets in the way. I’ve been tussling with my anxiety and depression for a few week now. The worst of it seems to have passed and I’m beginning to see light at the end of this tunnel but I need some extra care to make it through.

For the next few days I’m going to focus on eating well, exercising a little, resting a lot and spending time with people who make me smile. I’ll still be posting, I just won’t be quite as gabby for the next little well.

Thank you for understanding. Having a mental illness is shitty. Having the support of compassionate people makes it much less so.



Give a little. Get a little.

It’s that time again!

On September 15th sexy, sassy team from Planned Parenthood Ottawa will be lacing up and taking part in The Scotiabank AIDS Walk For Life. The walk is a fundraiser for Ottawa organizations that provide education, care and support related to HIV/AIDS in Ottawa. And once again my part to collect some cash.  If you’re inclined to give a little money to great cause, I’ve got something special for you.

Just like last year your donation gets you an electronic tax receipt and...a Sexy Shout Out!  

In exchange for your generous contribution, I will write a one paragraph personalized blog post, extolling your alluring virtues. I also spread word of your enticing charms via Facebook and Twitter.  I can also send you your own copy of your sexy endorsement to use as you see fit.

You know you’re hawt! Now you’ll have it in writing.

Don’t delay!  Click here to support Team PPO and get your Sexy Shout Out today! 😉

You guys? I got really busy and kind of overwhelmed, so The Man of Mans did me a major solid and wrote me a blog post. I didn’t even ask. He just did it because he is wonderful like that!

Here, from the man (of mans) himself is the skinny on what life is like with a partner who has a *wee*  propensity towards TMI.

How does your partner feel about your blog?

So reads one of the OAQ – Occasionally Asked Questions on this site. Nadine’s response is accurate, but I thought I would try to answer this one myself.

How do I feel about this blog? I think it’s frickin’ awesome! Thank you.

No, seriously, I think I understand where the question is coming from. Nadine shares an awful lot of information about her relationships, her home life, and of course, her sex life, and more than a little bit of that information involves me. Since she’s the one writing the posts, she obviously won’t share anything that makes her uncomfortable (or if she does, she’ll do it consciously), but I’m the one who could log on at any time and discover she’s told people what I like to be called while we’re doing it!

I (quite possibly wrongly) imagine people who ask this question assume one of a few things.

  1. I am into the TMI just as much as Nadine, and the only reason I’m not writing my own blog is because I lack her writing skills.
  2. I read all her posts before she puts them up and vet them for anything that makes me uncomfortable.
  3. I have no idea that Nadine writes a blog at all.

Actually, it’s none of these (well, except for the part about her being a better writer). I am definitely not much of an online sharer – I’m not on Facebook or Twitter, and I have no idea how to use Flickr or the like. I actively avoid reading any of Nadine’s posts before they go up, because I much prefer to see her blog the way everyone else does (more on this later). And clearly, I am fully aware of this blog.

The reality basically comes down to this – I’m cool with the blog because I trust Nadine. I know that she puts a great deal of thought into everything she writes for this site, and that she would never share something personal just to titillate her readers or increase hits. I also know that she values our relationship above just about everything else, the same way I do. She’s not going to share something that she thinks would negatively affect our relationship, even if doing so would be beneficial for a post. I’m not suggesting that anyone who would react differently in my situation has issues with trust, but for me, trust is the prominent factor.

But I guess that only answers the question “Is your partner okay with this blog?” As for how I feel about it, that’s a different story.

Have you ever wished you could read your partner’s diary? I feel like I get to do that every day, but without any deception or guilt. Of course I also like to talk to Nadine in person, but it’s pretty cool to get to read the thoughts she felt were important enough to capture in writing, even if that`s a privilege I share with hundreds of other people. That`s also why I don`t like to read the posts before they go up – even though that`s something that only I`d get to do, it would actually feel less personal to me.

One thing that quite surprised me when I moved to Ottawa was the discovery that folks in the high-tech industry are actually a pretty conservative bunch. I distinctly remember one conversation where my co-workers were horrified/amazed to learn that you could get porn at the local video store. Scandalous! So I have to admit, I always quite enjoy the discussion that goes like this:

So, does your partner work?”

Yes, they are also in high-tech/No, they’re at home with the kids/etc. How about your wife?”

She writes a sex blog.”


More seriously, I’m far more aware than a lot of my co-workers (I won’t say knowledgeable, just aware) of issues around sex and sexuality, gender, feminism, etc., thanks to having a partner who does what she does. On more than one occasion, I think I’ve been able to get someone to see an issue in a different way, by mentioning something from Nadine’s blog, or better, just pointing them at it.

On a more, shall we say, suggestive note, there’s a pretty big upside to having a partner who is really comfortable talking about sex, not to mention one who thinks about it an awful lot. Plus we don’t have to hide all our smutty books away when our parents come to visit – we can just say they’re tools of the trade.

So, in conclusion: Frickin’ awesome.

I love this blog. It’s informative and funny, and it makes my partner happy. That’s pretty much everything I strive to be.







Welcome to the brand new Adorkable Realm (a.k.a. AdorkableUndies.com)!  Please kick off your shoes, take off your pants and make yourself at home.

image via: Etsy

I’ll give you the tour in just a moment, but first I gotsta holla’ at some fine folks who helped set me up shop over here:

Roof-raising props to Lynn of Sweet Smart Design for taking my vision of “Um, I dunno…something good, with colours” and turning it into a real life website that I love!  Lynn has been outstanding and saint-level patient while playing my tedious game of “Can I move this here? Can we change this to yellow? Change the font? Create something that references this random photo of cushions I found on Pinterest?

If you like the look of this place, please give Lynn a shout-out in the comments. Or better yet, hire her!

Also, big thanks and hugs for Wayne, Sterling, Evan, Danielle and Stephanie who gave me lots of great input while the site was under construction.

Of course, my deepest gratitude is for The Man of Mans, who’s helped me with this and every other part of my life.

Now…let me show you around.

Posts and Stuff

Most of the content from my WordPress site has been packed up and moved over here but the old site is still up so you can pop back over if you’re feeling nostalgic.


If you’d like to get in touch just click on the yellow e-mail icon above. Or drop me a line at @adorkableundies.com.


If you read Adorkable Undies’ via syndication feed, you’ll need to subscribe to the new feed by clicking the orange RSS button above. You can also enter an e-mail in the sidebar under “Keep In Touch”, to receive notification whenever a new post goes up.

Follow Me

Click here or on one of the social media buttons above to follow me on Twitter or Pinterest. If you’re on Facebook, you can “like” the Adorkable Undies Facebook page!


The blogs I love now have their own very own page. Check it out here!


Wanna read about a particular topic? Hie thee to the sidebar and click on a category!


Adorkable Undies is a labour of love but if a sex-positive business, service or program wants to support my blogging endeavours, you may see some ads crop up in the sidebar. You can read more about patronage here.


The look is new but I’ll still be here writing about the quirks and quarks of sex. Thank you for dropping by Adorkable Undies’ new home! The doors are always open – so don’t be a stranger!







Time to change! (image via lism).

There are things I cannot change. My past.  My raging neuroticism. My adorkable and not-so-adorable blunders. My loathing of pants. My typos.

Still my life is not completely at the mercy of Happenstance and her fateful auto-pilot. The extent of my courage and/or wisdom remains to be seen, but I am working on changing a few things in my life and on this blog.

What sorts of changes?

The life stuff I’ll get to eventually.  As for the blog changes…read on!

New Focus

During my time off, I’ve been thinking about what I want this blog to be. I’ve wanted to focus the theme of my content for awhile.  I thought about returning to theatre-related blogging, but frankly bloggers like Kevin and Kris and Nancy say it far better than I ever have.

Meanwhile, I can’t seem to go five minutes without jawing about masturbating or lubricant or gender politics and relationships.  Though I’m no fan of pants, I’m clearly facisnated by what goes on underneath them.  Seems like a good place to shift my focus.

Pants: You never know *what* you’ll find in there!

New Name

Don’t get me wrong. As a group, thespians are a sex-centric bunch.  However, Adorkable Thespian just doesn’t fit my new self-imposed mandate. So from now on, this space will be known as Adorkable Undies.  Because even in the throes of sexiness I’m still likely to fall off the bed.

New Look

Since I’m taking her in a new direction, I figured this gal could use a new outfit. Sometimes when you change your look, you change your outlook.  In addition to the new theme, there’s some new info under the menu tabs, a list of my favourite sex-related sites and a link to my column at Apartment 613.

…The More They Stay The Same

Despite any personal or blog-related changes, this is still me. The subject matter has shifted but I still intend to share (and overshare) my personal perspective.  I hope that you will continue to comment and that we will continue the conversations that I love having with you all. If your feeling shy, anonymous comments are always welcome, so long as they are respectful.

New school year, new season and a new start for this space.  What changes will these changes bring about? We’ll  have to wait and see.  In the meantime, it feels very good to be back!