01
May 2013

Jessica Alba, Corsets and Celebrity Body Image

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Before I get into stuff, I want to apologize to y’all for my unannounced extended absence. I won’t bore you with the dull details, but sufficed to say life stuff got in the way of blog stuff.

I also apologize, because I’m about to go on a rant. I know it’s kind of shitty when you haven’t seen someone in awhile and then the first thing they do is start complaining. But I’ve got some thoughts that are making my brain itch, so please indulge me while I purge them. I promise to hit you with some fun stuff (and new developments!) super soon, ‘kay?

Let’s get down to brass tacks…

This morning I read an article by Yummy Mummy Club contributor Kat Armstrong. She writes about Jessica Alba’s recent admission that she wore a corset for three months in order to regain her pre-pregnancy figure after her second child was born. In the wake of this revelation, apparel companies are now developing post-partum corsets so that women everywhere can pretend they never gave birth.

Kat’s take is that this is some straight up bullshit. And Yummy Mummy Club founder/editor/all around cool person Erica Ehm agrees.

Screen Shot 2013-05-01 at 11.40.16 AM

I get it. It pissed me off when I read about it too.  The idea that women’s bodies should quickly – or in many cases – ever return to a pre-pregnancy state is awful, body-shaming nonsense. Companies are taking advantage of Alba’s statement to hawk their postpartum corset thingies,  makes me seethe! But it also makes me sad. I tweeted that to Erica Ehm, which led to a brief but interesting discussion:

Screen Shot 2013-05-01 at 11.48.37 AM Screen Shot 2013-05-01 at 11.49.06 AM Screen Shot 2013-05-01 at 11.48.37 AMScreen Shot 2013-05-01 at 11.49.06 AMScreen Shot 2013-05-01 at 11.49.34 AMScreen Shot 2013-05-01 at 11.49.55 AM Screen Shot 2013-05-01 at 11.50.24 AM

 

I gotta pause for sec here ’cause my inner 12-year-old is having a moment.

 

OMG ERICA EHM TOTALLY TALKED TO ME ON TWITTER!!!

 

As I was saying…

I couldn’t adequately express my thoughts in 140 characters, so I’ll expand on them here. I understand and largely agree with Erica and Kat. As a Hollywood celebrity Jessica Alba is a high-profile woman with a great deal of influence and ultimately she does bear responsibility for her message and her choices. I also wish that Jessica Alba and her privileged Hollywood cohorts would use their power to promote kinder, gentler image standards for their fellow women. But also feel like that’s a lot to expect because despite their wealth and sky-high profiles I suspect that   body-positivity is especially difficult for celebrity women.

I worked as an actor for a good part of my life, including a wee bit of film and television work when I was growing up in Toronto. Even with limited exposure, it became very obvious very quickly that what I looked like mattered as much as – if not more so – than my ability. I was told that in order to work I’d have to “fix” things. My hair was too wild and frizzy. My skin had spots. I once had a casting director tell me that I should lost ten pounds because I was a bit too chunky. “Not for real life. Just for television,” was how she qualified it.

That was my experience as a super, small-time actor and it did a little damage. So I can only imagine the messages someone like Jessica Alba has been receiving about her body as a high-stakes player in billion-dollar image industry.  According to Wikipedia Jessica Alba began working in film and television at thirteen. Imagine that.

 

Like really imagine it.

Imagine being a thirteen-year-old girl going to auditions and being told by casting people, agents, directors and other influential adults that being thin and pretty is part of your job.

Imagine being a teenage girl observing the fucked up reality that in Hollywood getting fat is grounds for being fired.

Imagine being twenty years old and working your ass off as the lead of a television series, but instead of talking about your acting everyone is focused on how hot you look in your costume.

Imagine being a very young woman who’s suddenly very successful, with an agent, a manger and probably a host of other people who are personally invested in keeping you looking a certain way, because their livelihood depends on your ability to get work.

Imagine that every acting job you get come with a big side of mandatory promotional work that is largely about being “hot” and skinny on the cover of various magazines.

Imagine living with the knowledge that if your body changes in any significant way, it will be broadcast worldwide in magazines and on entertainment news shows. Especially if you gain weight.

Imagine feeling that all your money and power is conditional on your ability to look a certain way. And that if you don’t look like that, it would probably get taken away.

Imagine you’ve just had a baby and knowing that the media will be monitoring your “post-baby body”. If you get thin again, you’ll be congratulated. If you don’t, you’ll be crucified. But either way your body is matter of public record and discussion.

So yes, I am angry about Alba’s admission. But the mere fact that she felt this was necessary also makes me feel sad for her. She’s spent more than half of her young life working in an industry that has some pretty fucked up attitudes people’s bodies. It’s not entirely surprising that she places such a high value on regaining a thin figure so soon after having a baby.

Many of us have felt the negative influence of Hollywood and mainstream media standards of beauty. But the people we see in those images have are also being subjected to the same standards, often from a young impressionable age and on a very intense level. It’s no wonder women like Alba resort to extremes in these matter. So while I do share  the rage, I can’t help but feel some bit of compassion as well.

Categories: Body Image, Media Tags: , , , , , , , ,
11
Mar 2013

When The Personal Isn’t Political

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“I do multiple intrinsically non- and/or anti-feminist things a day. It doesn’t change who I am or what I stand for – but those things also don’t become feminist just because I’m the one doing them.”

The following is a quote by feminist author and body image activist extrodinaire, Kate Harding. I’ve been a long time fan of Ms. Harding. She frequently writes things that blow my mind and alter my thinking on issues regarding women, bodies and general life stuff. Now she’s done it again.

This particular statement was taken from a recent article entitled ‘Why I Lose My Mind Every Time We Have The Name Conversation’. The piece is about women’s who take their husband’s names at marriage. Kate fully acknowledges that:

a) becoming Ms. HisLastName is a choice that women have a right to make.

b) it can be thoughtful, meaningful, positive option for many women.

c) you can be Ms. HisLastName and a feminist and that’s totally cool.

Harding explains that women who take their husband’s names are still awesome, feminist gals making a valid life choice. But the fact that it’s a choice doesn’t magically separate the convention from it’s roots in patriarchal ownership. And being a feminist does not negate the fact that, generally speaking, our society tends to regard men’s identities as fixed and women’s as fluid.

Harding’s specific thoughts on married names were all kinds of interesting. But it’s the passage I quoted that resonated. I identify strongly as feminist, sex-positive, a queer-ally and bunch of other things. While reading the article, I realized that part of me does feel like everything I do, should fall in line with my belief that social oppression is for suck and it needs to go away now. And I will try to rationalize all of my actions within the context of those beliefs.

Case in point. I recently wrote a piece for Already Pretty about burlesque. I wrote my own experiences doing burlesque and tied that to a larger point about performers using the art form to challenge conventional perceptions of what sexy body looks like. Body image politics + personal experience = Instant Awesome Blogpost.

I thought it would be an easy assignment. Instead it was a frustrating struggling that went on for days. Eventually I finished the article and even though I wasn’t entirely satisfied, I submitted it. I figured this was just one of those crappy, writer’s block kind of weeks, nothing more.

But after reading Kate Harding’s piece I can see why I had a hard time. I was writing about burlesque subverting body image norms and I was trying to say that my participation was part of that subversion. But it’s not.

I’ve done burlesque with all sorts of people who fall outside the young, thin, able-bodied, cis-gendered, heteronormative ideal our society tends to uphold as “sexy”. I think how awesomely cool it is to see people broadening the standards of beauty and sexuality, while being hella hot and talented. I support the shit out of that kind of thing. But here’s things:

I am a younger-looking, slender, able-bodied, cis-gendered, heterosexual woman. Pretty much everything about the way I look and the way I present myself  falls in line with conventional ideas about what sexy is supposed to look like. Some might say that being as a person of colour takes me a bit outside the “norms” of sexiness. But even then I find that there’s a trend toward glamourizing/idealizing POCs – especially if they have European-esque features, which I pretty much do.

I love performing. I love dressing up and wearing costumes and being a big, exhibitionist show-off with my body. I also believe, passtionately that we need to make more room in this world for the many, may types of sexy that are out there. But that’s not what I’m doing when I do burlesque. I can’t do that when I do burlesque because our society has already made lots of room for my type of sexy and it has done so at the expense of other people.

None of this means that I shouldn’t be doing burlesque or that I can’t derive joy from the experience. And it doesn’t mean that I don’t support or believe that we need more sexy diversity (and maybe a better term).

I’m going to change over time. I will get older. The shape and likely the size of my body will change. There’s no guarantee that I will remain able-bodied throughout my life. If I still choose to twirll my tassles while rockin’ the wrinkles and low boobs, I WILL be sticking to the patriarchy and ageism and bunch of other sex-negative, body-negative bullshit. But I’m not now, so I probably shouldn’t pretend that I am.

Like everyone else, I make choices. Many are informed by desire to work towards a less oppressive, more inclusive society. But they’re also about what’s right for me and sometimes that’s the status quo. Instead of trying to rationalize those choices, it feels I can say, “This system/convetion/idea unfairly penalizes or excludes others. I don’t like that, but I am choosing to work within this system because there are still benefits for me as an individual.”

To put it another way, not everything I do is about fighting a social battle. And I realize after reading Kate Harding’s words, that I don’t have to rationalize it or get defensive. I’m a person, a part of this society. There’s some messed up shit happening but that doesn’t change the fact that sometimes it works for me.

Categories: Activism, Body Image, Burlesque, Feminism, Gender, Media, Sex, Social Media, Writing Tags: , , , , , , , ,
06
Feb 2013

Sex and Self Esteem (Video Post By Request)

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I’ve had a few questions recently about how to help a partner who’s struggling with body image issues and what to do if those issues affect their desire for sex.

I decided give my fingers a break from typing and do a video response instead. Remember viewers, I’m not a therapist or a counsellor – just a gal with some opinions and a video camera.

I’m also a gal who should tidy her bedroom. Hello, wayward sock in the background!

All right, enough with the disclaimers. Time for the video. Roll it!

 

 

Categories: Body Image, Love, Masturbation, Sex, The Man of Mans, Toys, Video Tags: , , ,
01
Feb 2013

Question Of The Week

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Every Friday I ask you a question of the week. You can answer often, occasionally or not at all. If you have something to say but you’re feeling shy, you’re always welcome to comment anonymously.

 

If you could go back in time, what would you tell your younger self about sex?

There are three things I’d say to Twenty Years Ago Nadine if only I could:

1. Don’t waste your energy wishing for bigger boobs. Just enjoy wearing halter tops…while you still can.

2. Here’s the thing. You’re getting a lot of ideas about sexuality from movies, television, magazines and romance novels. And from your friends, who are getting a lot of their ideas about sexuality from movies, television, magazines and romance novels. Media is fun and entertaining…but it’s rarely the truth.

Sexuality is varied and diverse. It’s a smorgasbord of identities, desires, expressions, ideas and ethics. You don’t know a lot about real life sexuality. People have a hard time talking about sex open. When they do talk about it, they tend to be cautious and pretty guarded, especially around teenagers, so you’re not hearing a lot of man-on-the-street, truths about sex. What you are getting is a lot of sexualized media. It’s shiny and kind of cool looking, but it’s basically the same three ideas over and over again. So don’t stress because you don’t feel like a Seventeen magazine, Harlequin heroine. That’s never going to feel right for you. It’s not supposed to because that’s not who you are.

3. Take a picture of your ass. Trust me. Twenty years from you’re gonna want to look back on the glory days!

Categories: Body Image, Fun Stuff, Media, Question Of The Week, Sex Tags: ,
18
Dec 2012

A Few Good Links

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While I’m taking it easy over here, I thought I’d share some of the fun, funny, thought-provoking and sexy things I’ve been enjoying on the intarbets!

Thanks to some inventive fundraising, Cards Against Humanity raised dough to purchase oodles of condoms and buckets of boar sperm. (They didn’t, though.)

Cliff says “…it’s easy– especially in areas as private and emotionally loaded as sex–to have a totally skewed idea of what everyone else is doing, and to try to conform to that skewed idea,”  and other stuff that makes a whole lot of sense to me.

I’d love to be a sex educator for parents and kids. Like The Mama Sutra!

I hear tell that some folks think we’re all going to die in a fiery inferno this weekend. That’s probably not true, but if Armageddon does come to pass, 25% of men will regret that they didn’t have more sex.

This spoken word piece on fatherhood is super dope!

I have a new Internet/blog friend! Annie is a wise, witty wordsmith and her blog, The Belle Jar is a treasure trove of feminist musings.

A mega-sized coffee table book of photography and graphic art from The Golden Age Of Porn? YES, PLEASE!

This article about perceptions of black sexuality in the U.S. fascinates me.

Hands up if you love The Lingerie Addict as much as I do!

Before I jet, I just want to say thank you everyone who commented, Tweeted or e-mailed with well-wishes after last week’s post. I’ve read all of them several times over and I feel very blessed to be part of  such a supportive community of friends. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

 

 

Categories: Body Image, Books, Community, Fashion, Feminism, Friends, Fun Stuff, Health, Porn, Sex Tags: , , , , ,
19
Oct 2012

Fashion Friday

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I’ve been losing weight.

Not deliberately and it hasn’t been much but I am a petite gal. It only takes a few pounds to make a noticeable difference. My clothes are starting to get baggy and a bit sloppy feeling, which is bothersome. Like many women, I’m susceptible to getting overly focused on my body. Not to mention all the nonsense about weight and self-worth. Ideally I’d like to let my body do her thing, accept the changes and get on with my life. But it’s hard not to feel self-conscious when I’m constantly aware of my clothes not fitting.

If my body decides to settle around this size, I’ll invest in some alternations. Meanwhile, I’ve found that tunic tops are a comfortable option while my figure is in flux. A garment that’s designed to be loose and flowing, feels much sexier than a body-hugging garment that’s gaping all over.

Tunic: Calvin Klein. Earrings and necklace: Forever 21. Jacket: Old Navy. Leggings: Lululemon. Shoes: Chinese Laundry

As always, vivid colours are a guaranteed cure for any body blues I might be experiencing. I am so smitten with this jacket and the vivid cobalt of the tunic is such a powerful, happy blue, I can’t help but feel happy when I’m wearing it!

 

Tunic: Smart Set. Earrings and Necklace: Forever 21. Leggings: Dynamite. Shoes: Payless

Another pro for tunics is that they emphasize the lower half.  So do leggings. So this outfit is works well for me since a) I quite like showing off my legs and b) my leggings still fit.

 

Tunic: Jedzebel Hat: San Diego Hat Co. Bracelet: Agora Jewelry. Boots: Dr. Scholls.

Oof…sorry about the blur.

Another great feature of tunics is that the longer ones can be belted and converted into mini-dresses. Hats are also a nice stable aspect of my wardrobe. My head size has remained consistent through all of my weight fluctuations…and several concussions!

Are there pieces in your wardrobe that help you dress through body changes? Is there a colour, pattern or style that makes you feel fabulous no matter what? How many concussions have you had? I always love reading your perspective, so feel free to chat away in the comments!

Categories: Body Image, Fashion, Fashion Friday, Feminism Tags: , , ,
28
Sep 2012

Fashion Friday: Defining My Style

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I’ve raved about Sally McGraw before…and I’ll do it again, damnit! Sally’s philosophies about style and body image are eminently worthy of repeat praise. And thanks to social media Sally has become one of my new Internet pals!*

Sally’s blog, Already Pretty is a daily favourite of mine. When I learned she’d written a book of the same name, you best believe I got my order in right quick.

The book!

Sally’s philosophy is all about self-acceptance and celebrating the body you have exactly the way it is. Her book helps the reader identify and craft a style all their own. I’m not looking to do a complete wardrobe overhaul – though the book would be tremendously helpful if I were – but I do feel due for a style tune-up. I’m also in for some fun. The Already Pretty process means thinking about my clothes, writing about my clothes, talking photos of my clothes, dressing up and playing with my clothes!  It may not sound like fun to some of you but for me that’s a balls-out barrel of monkeys!

The first phase of the process is about defining my current style. It involves activities such as assembling photos of recent outfits and pondering questions about which clothing brands I favour  and what motivates me to shop.

Fashion Friday: A retrospective in collage.

I also had to come up with a list of at  least ten words to describing my style. I went into this task all hubris-like. Hel-LO?! I’m a writer!  Plus I own Schoolhouse Rock on DVD and I’ve seen the one about adjectives about a million times now. I was gonna rock this out!

Immediately I wrote “colourful”, followed by “feminine”. Next was…um….

Um….

The whole assignment ground to a near-halt as I tried to convince myself that “houndstoothy” IS TOO AN ADJECTIVE and that surely there’s a word describing “clothes that aren’t slacks”.**

What I lack in ability I make up for in FONTS!

Eventually, I found ten, non-made up adjectives…but it took some doing. The last word I came up with was unfocused. This exercise made me realize while I definitely know what I like, I don’t always understand the why. My style isn’t entirely cohesive, which is fine but I’m curious to see what common elements emerge as I continue Sally’s process.

All this pondering and adjectifying*** is being documented in my style journal/iPad.  I got myself a simple notebook app and bam! I can type, handwrite, sketch and paste photos into one neat, tidy, paperless place. Plus it will be super easy to take with my when I go shopping.

And I will be shopping….

Duly noted!

 

You can read Already Pretty, the blog, here.! You can buy Already Pretty, the book here!

 

 

*In real life friendship pending. Alls I need’s airfare to Minneapolis, yo!

** There may be but the word is definitely not “skirty”. I know because I looked it up.

*** Just let me have that one, okay?

Categories: Body Image, Books, Fashion, Fashion Friday Tags: , , , , , ,
13
Sep 2012

Fashion Friday Repost: Clothes For Thought

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Shopping bagged!

This past Friday I spent a delightful afternoon shopping with Jes and Natalie Joy.  Fun times with fun women made all the better when Jes explained that she is transitioning into a career as a professional style/shopping consultant and was hoping that Nat and I would volunteer as test clients.  Having the advice of a style professional has been a fantasy of mine ever since What Not To Wear hit the North American airwaves.  I eagerly agreed to submit to Jes’ expertise

Getting dressed is not rocket science.  My three-year-old can do it.  Styling, on the other hand, requires some skill.  I’m an outfit gal. I like for my clothes to fit in a specific way. I try to combine items of clothing into pleasing ensembles. Once I have the clothes, I can usually put them together all right.  When it comes to acquiring clothes…I’m a bit of a loose canon.  My standard approach to shopping is time consuming.  Basically, I take half the store’s inventory into a change room, try everything on and whittle the choices dow to 3 or 4 pieces that I really love.

Shopping with Jes was far more efficient.  She easily identified  items she thought would work well for me.  Seeing a flaccid garment on a hanger and being able to envision it accurately on a body requires good understanding of form, shape and colour. Natalie Joy and I have different body types and very different skin tones and Jes was equally successful with both of us.  Jes was thoughtful when it came to textile, taking into consideration movement, breathability, laundering – all important factors for working parents like Nat and I.

We each of us came away with a cohesive set of clothes.  The ten or so pieces I bought can be combined to create dozens of outfits.  It’s a standard rule of economical shopping, but one I’ve always had trouble executing.

I’ve been thinking lately that I’d like to write a script that centers around clothing.   I’ve no sense of the form I might use to tell this story.  Nor do I know exactly what I want to say.   Like my closet, there’s a LOT of material.  Clothing, style and fashion are sometimes dismissed as vapid or inconsequential. I love getting dolled up, playing in my closet and sussing out new duds.  But my love affair with clothes is challenging sometimes.  I get self-conscious about my sartorial lust. As a feminist identified woman, I sometimes fall victim to the misconception that traditionally feminine pursuits are a betrayal of my personal politics. I can usually talk myself down from that ledge,  however; I do have more legitimate shame/ guilt about being a privileged, consumerist clothes horse.  The Post-Fab Princess, writes a fabulously-smart fashion-focused [ETA: now defunct] blog. She says it thusly:

I have an utterly unwholesome obsession with fashion – AND OMG J. CREW – frequently at odds with my anti-consumerist sympathies. What’s a fabulous feminist to do?

I derive tremendous pleasure from dressing myself.  When I choose an outfit, it’s like working through an equation; taking into account variables such as my mood, the weather, the demands of my day and the contents of my wardrobe to arrive at an ideal ensemble.  Dressing is my self-care.   It’s a way I’ve found of being kind to my spirit and nice to my body, which doesn’t always come naturally for me.

My love of clothes and shopping comes from my father.  Growing up, I noticed that he took great care in cultivating his wardrobe, buying the finest pieces he could afford.  He was also a bit of a label junkie, seduced by cachet of Calvin Klein, Hugo Boss and Ralph Lauren.  We often went shopping together on Saturday mornings in downtown Toronto. He would buy me spiffy little kid duds and treat himself to a  new pair of shoes or one of his signature trilby hats.

My mother rarely shopped for herself.  Hers was a make-do wardrobe, as she doggedly tended to my needs, those of my father and our home.   She didn’t make time to do much for herself.  She made due with the clothes year in and year out.  She didn’t like what she wore. I know that because she would mention it, letting out a frustrated sigh at not having bought new clothes in years.

As an adult, I really sympathize with my mother.  She truly believed that it was her duty to give everything she had to our family.  But at the time, her self-sacrifice made me sad and it made my angry.  I understood but lacked the adult’s vocabulary to tell my mom that I neither wanted nor needed her to care for me to the exclusion of caring for herself.

When I grew up and after my parents split, my mother slowly but surely started investing in herself, inwardly and outwardly.   Now she wears clothes that reflect her personality.  It was a delight to discover that she is also a bit of a fashionista.  And it turns our clothing aesthetics are quite similar.   We share the same love of vivid colour and bold pattern.  Though she is far, far better at accessorizing than I am.  She has so many fun shoes.   She wears chunky, textured necklaces and metal bracelets.  When those bracelets clang together to me the sound is my mother, as much as her voice.

Clothes aren’t important to everyone and that’s okay. I believe that who a person is is more important than what they wear.  But I express who I through the clothes I wear. Dressing my body brings me joy and that joy affects my heart and soul.  Just as I’m intrigued by art, music and other sensory experiences, I’m drawn to the costumes people put on.  A man sitting on the street on a hot summer’s day has a story behind his worn winter coat.  The woman at the party in the look-at-me red dress is intriguing to me.  The person sitting next to me rocking a crisp man’s shirt and frilly pink skirt chose that outfit for reason. What could it be?  There is so much I love and think and wonder about clothes.

So…what are you wearing?

Poseur!

Orignally posted June 7th, 2010

Categories: Body Image, Family, Fashion, Fashion Friday, Feminism, Friends
31
Jul 2012

Plight of the Topless Woman

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photo by antwerpenR

Yesterday The Man of Mans and I celebrated our twelfth wedding anniversary by taking a day-trip to a nearby waterpark. Sophisti-muh-cated romance in da hizz-ouse, y’all!

Actually we had a really great time. After hours of wet, silly fun we got ourselves ready to head back home. As I was changing to leave, I realized that I’d forgot to pack a bra, which left my wet bikini top as my only support garment. The MoMs and I decided to maximize our date time by taking the a longer, scenic drive home. Hanging out together was great. The incessant trickle of water dripping off my suit ties and down my back was not.

As I squirmed and lamented my first world problems, it occurred to me that technically I did have the option of taking my top off. While I do find it necessary to wear a bra for impact activities, sitting and driving topless wouldn’t have placed any undue strain  on my boobs. Not to mention the joy of having my bosoms warmed by the summer sun, instead of being bound up in clammy elastane.

I was tempted. Until I realized that while I would have been physically comfortable, I felt self-conscious about cruising while topless. Baring one’s breats has been legal ’round these parts for over 20 years.  As a burlesque performer, I’m used to revealing the boobies in public. And strangely, that sort of purposefully sexual exposure is much less intimidating for me than thought of what might happen in a situation where baring my breast in a non-sexual way.

When I perform, I feel in control. I’m choosing to show my body. I’m inviting the audience to look AND to communicate any sexual response to through applause, cheers, (respectful) catcalls, etc.  Because I’ve consented to what’s happening, I feel safe.  When I feel safe, I feel free to enjoy that type attention.

As a theoretical topless driver, I accept and expect that some people, depending on their tastes, might look at my boobs and get aroused. Shirtless guys on summer days often turn me on. (Shirtless guys on winter days just confuse me). Sexual response is largely involuntary and that part doesn’t really bother me. But sitting in the car yesterday, I couldn’t help but anticipate some sort of leering, honking or salacious comment had I chosen to expose my boobs. I was afraid that exposed breasts in any context would be misconstrued as an invitation to sexual engagement.  At that moment, in the car, I wasn’t trying to be provocative. I just wanted to feel a little more comfortable.

Jezebel published an article about Moira Johnston – a self-proclaimed topless activist who’s been strolling about the streets of NYC topless to normalize – you guessed it – toplessness! (It’s legal in the Big Apple too!) Sadly, I don’t have the wontons to be that person, but I’m happy somebody does. Because breasts are still largely regarded as sexual objects and exposing them is often interpreted as an explicit sexual invitation, regardless of whether that’s true. I suspect that’s why two decades later, bare breasts are rarely seen in public, despite being a legal as a piece of foolscap.

It’s an unfortunate cycle –  our culture is not used to seeing breasts in a non-sexual way; therefore we assume bare breasts are always sexually provocative, we respond in kind, thus making the owner of said breasts uncomfortable and unlikely to bare their breasts in a non-sexual context.

So I ask the boob and boobless alike – have you ever gone topless in a non-sexual situation?  Did you feel self-conscious? How did people around you respond? The comments are open!

 

Categories: Body Image, Burlesque, The Man of Mans Tags: , , , , , , ,
24
Jul 2012

Sport And Sexualization

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Once every four summers, the torch is passed, the flame is lit and I curse my lack of cable television.  Join me as I geek-out in a week long series of special posts dedicated to two of my favourite things – Sex and the Olympics!

When I tweeted my intentions to write a series of Olympic themed posts this week, I immediately received a request asking for my thoughts on the sexualization of athletes bodies, particularly women’s bodies.

My first thought upon reading the suggestion was that this would be the perfect opportunity to go on an awesome rant.  But when I sat down to write this scathing zinger of a post, I realized the outrage wasn’t there. I’m not filled with righteous indignation, just a jumble of conflicting ideas about athletes as the object and subject of sexual desire.  It’s definitely an issue that’s worth exploring but I have to cop up front and admit that I’m far from resolving my own feelings on the matter.

I confess to being an Olympic fangal. I also confess that watching Olympians and other athletes doing their athletic thing totally gives me the feelings. At best I’m a sporty dabbler. Hardcore athletes beguile me with their insane physical control, powerful undulating muscles and majestic grace. That turns me on. And I know I’m not alone.

So the fact that people find Olympians beautiful and sexy doesn’t bother me so much. Nor do some of the issues around clothing – specifically women’s clothing. I know some of those outfits get awful skimpy – outdoor women’s volleyball anyone? But I don’t cotton to the notion that revealing clothing is inherently disempowering or inappropriate. Because have you ever *played* outdoor volleyball? It’s physical, it’s hot and you move a lot.  Frankly, a bra top and well-fitted bikini bottoms seems like the ideal outfit.  The same goes for distance runners. I’m as amateur a runner as you can get and even I noticed that (weather permitting) the freedom of shorter shorts improved my running. If anything I’ve often wondered if the being a little more covered up is problematic for the dudes.

So, I don’t object to female athletes in short shorts or bra tops or what have you, assuming those options don’t impeded their ability to perform to the best of their abilities. I also don’t have much issue with a person who gets a bit of pleasure from seeing their favourite Olympian rocking those body conscious wicking fabrics.

The media machine starts churning overtime in an Olympic year. Magazines abound with editorals featuring pictures of 2012 hopefuls, often in overtly sexy clothing and posed in sexually provocative ways. Most athletes require more than medals to make their living. They rely on endorsements and branding and the old adage is true.  Sex does sell. But even so, there’s an interpretation of the situation that I can live with. The one where the athletes in question have happily consented to be being portrayed in a sexual way; where athletes of any gender have the option to access this particular mode of sexual privilege and where anyone can opt out, if they so choose.  If a person wants to flaunt their sexy selves, I got no beef with that.

But…

“Sexy” almost always becomes problematic for me once mainstream media gets a hold of it. Because mainstream media does shitty things like turning “sexy” into a super-specific label that only applies to a handful of people. That’s when we get weird situations like Anna Kournikova. The now retired tennis icon is reported to be the world’s highest paid female athlete. And truth is, Kournikova did have mad skillz relative to most people. She’d handily beat my ass and yours into the asphalt with her mighty racket. But relative to the athletic elite, Kournikova was good but not great. She never won a WTA singles titles. Her highest rank was no. 8 in the world. Yet her earnings eclipse those of ever other sportswoman in the world, not because she is the best athlete but because she best fits the media’s narrow definition of “sexy” and therefore landed the most endorsement deals.  Contrast her achievements with Tiger Woods, the highest paid male athlete. Handsome, yes, but Woods is on of the best athletes of his generation and far more accomplished as a golfer, than Kournikova was a a tennis player.  When talent pays for men, but sexy pays for women, I start having a problem with it. When overt sexuality becomes imperative to an athlete’s financial success, I start to have a problem with it.

And while we’re examining the short end of the stick, here’s another bummer. Reports show that mainstream media typically use sexualized depictions of female athletes to target heterosexual men. And while many dudes like the sexy, very few will watch or otherwise support women’s sport. That’s a big shame because these women are unbelievable at what they do. Even those rarefied creatures who fit into the media’s teeny “sexy” mold get dinged when they’re physical appearance eclipses their exceptional physical ability.

So I don’t know. I think athletes and their amazing bodies are of the good. I enjoy the randy feelings I get from watching these people do amazing things. And I support anyone who chooses to display their body and flaunt their sexuality, provided it is truly a choice. Where sexy goes bad for me is when it becomes exclusive, exploitative or the something that distracts from a person’s main focus. So rant today, because the truth is I just don’t know what the answer is.

Meanwhile if you have any ideas or thoughts, I’d very much like to hear them. Is the sexualization of athletes a problem? Is it okay to emphasize an athlete’s sexuality or should we keep our focus on their ability. And what’s your feeling on revealing clothing during competition?  The comments are open…I can’t wait to read your opinions.

Categories: Body Image, Feminism, Media, Sex Tags: , , , ,
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