Where do I go from here?

It’s a question I’ve been asking myself for the past several weeks, as I try to figure out exactly what I want to be doing over here in the Adorkable Realm.

I’ve ventured beyond the boundaries of this space in terms of blogging. I’ve got a regular feature over at the Yummy Mummy Club, where I write about vibrators, representations of sex in the media and relationship stuff. I’m also a monthly contributor for Already Pretty, which is where a lot of my body-image pieces are landing. Meanwhile, in my offline life, I’m honing and refining my sex educator skills through school and my AASECT mentorship. I’m becoming less of a sex-generalist and slowly working my way towards becoming a child and youth sexuality specialist.

Basically a lot of information is coming in and a lot of content is going out but very little of it is landing here. For a long time, Adorkable Undies was the clearing house for every bit of sex and/or gender-related I had churning in my brain. Now that I have other outlets, I’m trying to decide what I want to post here. What do I have to share, that I’m not sharing elsewhere?

I’ve been pondering, considering, musing and doing some plain old thinking and I’ve decided my best options boil down to these two:

Option The First – Keep It Professional.

I can use this blog as space to write about topics related to my studies and eventually, my sexuality education practice. I can ruminate on issues related to child and youth sexuality. There’s so much I could tackle: talking to kids about sex, media influences, gender norms, gender variance, orientation, dating, parenting quandaries, porn on the Internet, porn off the Internet, resources, social influences, etc, etc, etc. Tailoring this blog to fit in with my speciality is a basically a big, meaty potential sandwich, with a side of hot crispy sensible, as the time I spend writing will directly support and promote my professional services.

Option The Second: Get Personal

In the  years since I’ve been blogging here, I’ve noticed that it’s often the personal posts that illicit the most response. As much as it’s fun to be all expert-y expert, something really nice happens when I let it all hang out. I’ve written about my struggles with anxiety and low libido, my misadventures in parenting and my issues with self-image and you’re so kind and supportive. And you talk, to me and to each other, which makes my heart all big and glow-y! I like being open. I like sharing (sometime oversharing) about my life. But I worry. Will a potential client want my educational services after Googling my name and reading about my masturbatory foibles? Not to mention that while y’all are bomb, the Internet At Large is not always a kind place for women with opinions about the things I have opinions on.

What to do? What to do? I’m going to keep thinking about it. And if you have any ideas or input, I could really, really use some outside influence right now. Opinions, options and all thoughts are most welcome in the comments!

I used the term “y’all” twice in one post. Living in America is having an affect.



  1. rpriske says:

    As someone who considers you a friend first and blogger second, the personal stuff resonates more with me… but I think it would anyway.

  2. Lisa L says:

    I would think that your potential clients would appreciate your openness and honesty. People are entitled to their opinions and I personally love reading them. :)

  3. deBeauxOs says:

    It has been your own experiences as well as the generosity and courage of your sharing that have moved me the most.

    However, it would be great if you posted links here to your other online published material…

  4. Trevor says:

    What about doing more commentary? React to articles, research, mainstream media, and generally news items that relate to sex and sexuality? I feel like a lot of that stuff could use a powerful, educated, energetic voice, because I see a lot of, frankly, ANGRY BULLSHIT out there. You’re cool, though. The iced coffee to Jezebel’s idiot jalapeño.

    • Nadine says:

      What is WITH Jezebel lately? I used to dig that site but lately I find the majority of their articles shrill and alarmist.

  5. Lynn says:

    I love hearing your personal stories, but most of all I find your blog to be a beacon of education. I’ve learned so much – not just about sex but about how to embrace others, keep an open mind, and celebrate different choices. I love it when you have a political issue to discuss or an interesting new facet of sexuality to introduce us to and make us understand. Those are my favourite part!

  6. I’m a bit late for the party, but here goes. What I like the best (isn’t this about me me me???) is the balance between personal and professional. Perhaps you could combine them. Tell professional things, perhaps write those commentaries Trevor suggested, wonder what’s up with Jezebel. And then throw in your personal things. Everything you cannot fit in the other sites you contribute.

    You could think it this way: The potential clients who don’t appreciate your openness don’t deserve your professionalism either. They aren’t the right fit for you anyways. And in the end it’s their loss. You cannot make them all happy.

    I do understand how all these things can run you thin. I’m there myself. Too many things, too little me. I hope you figure it out!


  1. […] of us bloggers hit that same question at some point: Where to go from here? I have asked it, Nadine asked it recently and maybe you are asking it right […]