You guys? I got really busy and kind of overwhelmed, so The Man of Mans did me a major solid and wrote me a blog post. I didn’t even ask. He just did it because he is wonderful like that!

Here, from the man (of mans) himself is the skinny on what life is like with a partner who has a *wee*  propensity towards TMI.

How does your partner feel about your blog?

So reads one of the OAQ – Occasionally Asked Questions on this site. Nadine’s response is accurate, but I thought I would try to answer this one myself.

How do I feel about this blog? I think it’s frickin’ awesome! Thank you.

No, seriously, I think I understand where the question is coming from. Nadine shares an awful lot of information about her relationships, her home life, and of course, her sex life, and more than a little bit of that information involves me. Since she’s the one writing the posts, she obviously won’t share anything that makes her uncomfortable (or if she does, she’ll do it consciously), but I’m the one who could log on at any time and discover she’s told people what I like to be called while we’re doing it!

I (quite possibly wrongly) imagine people who ask this question assume one of a few things.

  1. I am into the TMI just as much as Nadine, and the only reason I’m not writing my own blog is because I lack her writing skills.
  2. I read all her posts before she puts them up and vet them for anything that makes me uncomfortable.
  3. I have no idea that Nadine writes a blog at all.

Actually, it’s none of these (well, except for the part about her being a better writer). I am definitely not much of an online sharer – I’m not on Facebook or Twitter, and I have no idea how to use Flickr or the like. I actively avoid reading any of Nadine’s posts before they go up, because I much prefer to see her blog the way everyone else does (more on this later). And clearly, I am fully aware of this blog.

The reality basically comes down to this – I’m cool with the blog because I trust Nadine. I know that she puts a great deal of thought into everything she writes for this site, and that she would never share something personal just to titillate her readers or increase hits. I also know that she values our relationship above just about everything else, the same way I do. She’s not going to share something that she thinks would negatively affect our relationship, even if doing so would be beneficial for a post. I’m not suggesting that anyone who would react differently in my situation has issues with trust, but for me, trust is the prominent factor.

But I guess that only answers the question “Is your partner okay with this blog?” As for how I feel about it, that’s a different story.

Have you ever wished you could read your partner’s diary? I feel like I get to do that every day, but without any deception or guilt. Of course I also like to talk to Nadine in person, but it’s pretty cool to get to read the thoughts she felt were important enough to capture in writing, even if that`s a privilege I share with hundreds of other people. That`s also why I don`t like to read the posts before they go up – even though that`s something that only I`d get to do, it would actually feel less personal to me.

One thing that quite surprised me when I moved to Ottawa was the discovery that folks in the high-tech industry are actually a pretty conservative bunch. I distinctly remember one conversation where my co-workers were horrified/amazed to learn that you could get porn at the local video store. Scandalous! So I have to admit, I always quite enjoy the discussion that goes like this:

So, does your partner work?”

Yes, they are also in high-tech/No, they’re at home with the kids/etc. How about your wife?”

She writes a sex blog.”

Ooookayyyy…”

More seriously, I’m far more aware than a lot of my co-workers (I won’t say knowledgeable, just aware) of issues around sex and sexuality, gender, feminism, etc., thanks to having a partner who does what she does. On more than one occasion, I think I’ve been able to get someone to see an issue in a different way, by mentioning something from Nadine’s blog, or better, just pointing them at it.

On a more, shall we say, suggestive note, there’s a pretty big upside to having a partner who is really comfortable talking about sex, not to mention one who thinks about it an awful lot. Plus we don’t have to hide all our smutty books away when our parents come to visit – we can just say they’re tools of the trade.

So, in conclusion: Frickin’ awesome.

I love this blog. It’s informative and funny, and it makes my partner happy. That’s pretty much everything I strive to be.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comments

  1. Steve Horn says:

    Bravo to the man of mans and his femme. Open communication fed by community acceptance could benefit so many people in all areas of life. We should study your example.

  2. deekayelgee says:

    Fantastic post. I’m not ashamed to say that it made me weepy in parts. I am happy to be in the same boat as Nadine, with a partner who supports my fairly unorthodox lifestyle…and though it’s not sex-related, I can sometimes, as a spoken word poet, share things from my life, and our life that would make someone who didn’t trust my judgment uncomfortable. Trust is definitely the sexiest thing in a relationship. You nailed this post MoMs. Thanks for the perspective.

  3. Thalia says:

    Given the guys I’ve been dating lately, it’s awfully nice to read something like this and have evidence of a healthy, happy, mutually-supportive (and dare I say, progressive?) relationship. Lovely post!