Queer People Exist: The Disney Dilemma

June 6th is Gay Day at the Walt Disney World Resort and people, The Florida Family Association are up in arms!  Last year the FFA hired a plane to circle the Magic Kingdom with a banner “warning” patrons that the day was in fact gay.

Personally, I’d prefer a flying alert about the exhorbitant parking fees, but  hey, we all pick our battles.

According to their website, the FFA’s primary complaint seems to be that queer folk being queer at Disney is a SUPER-bummer!  That may not sound like a big deal but they ask us to consider the following:

How would you feel if you entered the Magic Kingdom anticipating a normal day of fun with your family only to witness thousands of same-sex couples holding hands, hugging, kissing and wearing tee-shirts that promoted their lifestyle?

Whoa. I totally did NOT think of it that way. Nothing ruins a day of family fun like gentle affection and TEE-SHIRTS!

The FFA goes on to report:

VERY LOW ATTENDANCE BY FAMILIES AT THE MAGIC KINGDOM Florida Family Association’s team in the park has never witnessed a day at the Magic Kingdom where so few mainstream families were in attendance.  The team estimates that attendance by mainstream families was down approximately 50% to 60% over the average attendance of the last ten years.  Because of the significant reduction of mainstream families in the park Gay Day patrons’ appearance was much more visible…there were only about twenty people in line for tickets at 1 pm on a beautiful mild day in Central Florida.

I’m torn. Because on the one hand, SHORT LINES – WOOHOO! But on the other hand, mainstream families are pretty effective at obscuring queer people. Without them, gay people are free to just walk around being all VISIBLE and shit!

But what really cements the Family Association’s beef, are a series of photos from last year’s Gay Day which prove CONCLUSIVELY that queer people exist. Check it:

OH MY FUCKING GOD! THEY HAVE THROWN THEIR HANDS IN THE AIR AND THEY ARE WAVING THEM LIKE THEY DO NOT CARE!

Also? TEE SHIRTS!!!!

Won’t someone PLEASE think of the children?

Congratulations FFA, you have nailed it! Gay people go to vacation destinations, where they can be seen in pre-shrunk cotton shirts. Audacious, I know. But instead of spending your hard-earned money on airplane signage and using your precious energy to fuel your outrage, may I suggest an easier, less expensive, less jackass-y perspective on the situation:

Queer people exist. Get over it.