image via: shellevation.wordpress.com

Like many performers I have pie-in-the-sky fantasies about living a life of fame and fabulosity. But the more pragmatic, self-aware Nadine knows that while celebrity would certainly benefit my bank account, it probably would do me more harm than good.  I mean it would totally go to my head. Like totally. Someone recognized me on a bus once and I thought I was the shit for a week. If I were famous, the constant fanning and fawning of celebrity life would turn me into an insufferable asshole right quick.

I’d also be a crappy sex partner.

As a celebrity I’d spend an inordinate amount of time surrounded by people making demands of me: co-workers, the press, my fans.  At the end of the day, the last thing I’d want would be sexual intimacy with someone. I’d want some episodes of Project Runway and to be left the hell alone.

Celebrities are expected to maintain a rigid beauty standard. No doubt I’d be under tremendous pressure to work out, diet and most likely have some cosmetic work done. Not to mention constantly getting made-up, coiffed, waxed, nipped, tucked and air-brushed in press photos.  That extreme level of preening would make me terribly self-conscious and unsettled in my own skin. When I’m not comfortable with my body, I’m not so good at the sex.

Speaking of waxing, celebrities as a group are very smooth.  If I got even slightly sweaty, I’d probably slide right off my partner

There’s seems to be a lot of drug taking and booze drinking amongst celebrities. I’m totally the kind of person who, given the right combination of peer pressure and social permissiveness, would become a quaalude-addled alcoholic.  And I *suck* at sex when I’m wasted.

And of course, there would be my inflated sense of self-importance. Maintaining my marriage would be all but impossible with me walking around like Queen Shizz of Shizzonia. The Man of Mans does not suffer egomaniac’s gladly.

All of this is conjecture, of course. The chances of me reaching mega stardom (or even D-list noteriety) are pretty slim, which leaves me free to enjoy my passions both as a performer and a sex partner.  And what about you? Do you dream of being rich and famous. Do you think life in the spotlight would go to your head or would you remain refreshingly down-t0-earth in the face of mega-stardom?

Comments

  1. Vick Ko says:

    I’ll settle for rich and appreciated.

    :-)

    Vick

    • nadinethornhill says:

      Nice!

      I even know that I would handle wealth very well. I think I might be one of those mo’ money, mo’ problems people. Good thing I choose a career in the arts. :-)

  2. Lynn says:

    Totally naming my next blog Queen Shizz of Shizzonia. Best. Phrase. EVAH.

    I feel the same about celebrity – that I couldn’t handle it. I just found out some lady in Seattle ran into another lady in Seattle and they discovered they both read my blog. HEAD EXPANDING BEYOND ABILITY TO FIT IN HOUSE.

    • nadinethornhill says:

      Dude! PEOPLE ON THe OTHER SIDE OF THE CONTINENT ARE TALKING ABOUT YOUR BLOG. You should be proud! You should a have a t-shirt that says PEOPLE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE CONTINENT ARE TALING ABOUT MY BLOG.