I had originally planned an entry about the confusion between talking about sex and being sexual. But wouldn’t you know, Charlie Glickman – a phenomenal sex educator/blogger – found the punch and beat me to it. Mr. Glickman is predictably fantabulous and I’m on to the next subject: Hallowe’en costumes.
All Hallow’s Eve is fast approaching. Stores are jammed packed with the usual selection of short, revealing apparel for women. To this I say:
And might I add:
Now, don’t get me wrong. I know not everyone enjoys letting it all hang out come October 31st. First of all, it tends to be cold — at least if you’re in my part of the world. Second, and more importantly, the fun of a Hallowe’en costume is the opportunity to inhabit your own fantasy persona. If you don’t want to trick or treat with full-frontal cleavage, you shouldn’t have to.
But I love me a skimpy costume, as is evidenced by the 70s inspired tube top and booty shorts pictured above. I’ve adapted that ensemble into various disco-themed outfits three Hallowe’en’s in a row. Why? Because Hallowe’en is the one of those rare times when as a woman, it’s (kinda, sorta) okay for me to flaunt my body.
While I tend towards self-deprecation, I also have a vain streak. I like my shoulder, I like my legs, I like my ass and when I can find the right bra to contain and a display them, I like my boobs. I also like feeling sexy. Like most people, I definitely get embarassed and uncomfortable in my own skin. But I’ve also found moments of body-consciousness when I felt strong and pretty. I love that feeling. It’s the attention that’s sometimes problematic.
I like attention. I like it a lot. And I very much enjoy the sort of sexual attention that feels respectful. I get a charge out of an appreciative glance from a stranger or a compliment from a friend. I like to flirt, if it’s mutually acceptable and boundaries are established and respected.
However, I don’t like being harassed. Nor do I like being slut-shamed. I would love to wear plunging necklines and high hemlines every day. But I don’t. Sometimes because I honestly feel it’s not appropriate for the situation/event. I’m not going to wear a skin tight mini to a funeral or a job interview. But sometimes it’s because I’m not up for the perpetual fight of fending off touchy-feely leeches and those who say that when I flaunt it, I become public property. I have no desire to go through life repeatedly confirming for people that my bare skin does not negate my intelligence, my integrity, my devotion to my child, my commitment to my marriage or my sexual limits.
I love Hallowe’en, not only for the cornucopia of candy, but because it provides an fun opportunity to be a sexy beast (princess, wizard or medical professional) without the usual recriminations and social stigma. So this holiday dress up, dress down, wear a little,wear a lot or wear your regular clothes.
Just wear what you want.