Last night I met fellow entourage heavies Wayne and Sterling and we had ourselves a mid-week night out. We hit up Thursday Night Art Walk, where we drank wine and rubbed elbows with Hintonburg galleristas. But I can only pretend to be sophisti-mus-cated for maybe two hours at a time – ninety minutes if I’ve been drinking – so after we got our art on, I was pleased to head downtown for some karaoke.
Twitter revealed that our regular karaoke host was at The Cock and Lion. We are the entourage. We are twelve. Insert obvious cock/penis quips and raucous laughter here.
But amidst our tomfoolery, I realized the pub’s genital innuendo was in fact brilliant! For years I’ve longed for a vulva colloquialism that bridges the gap between the non-threatening, but icky-sounding “pussy” and the socio-politically charged “cunt”. ”The lion” combines the feline imagery of former with the raw power of the latter.
Testicles or “having balls” are synonymous with emotional strength and courage. Now, I will say “Unleash the lion!” to inspire the kind of bravery that can only come from the one’s crotch. I also plan to use phrases like “You can’t tame the lion!” and ”Let’s take this to the Serengeti!” (I’m not sure what that last one means, but it sounds cool).
So thank you, Cock and Lion for inspiring some new naughty-bit nomenclature! I tip my mane to you!

.Nadine is a sexual health educator, a playwright, poet, burlesque performer, partner and parent living in Ottawa, Ontario. She enjoys candy, fashion and dreck television. She does not care for pants. Photo by Justin Van Leeuwen.
Have a question about sex and/or relationships? Dirty Laundry is my monthly column at Apartment 613. There I dispense advice on all things TMI and share steamy tips about Ottawa's sexiest places and faces. The laundry room is always open, so drop me a line at 


“Let’s take this to the Serengeti” — brilliant!
This has a lot of potential.
I think I’m going to have to test market the phrase in a variety of situations and locations to see where it works best. First up: child’s birthday party (preferably with bouncy castle!)
Re: Serengeti: I would have thought “let’s take this to the Serengeti” would mean something like “Get your hands/moouth/cock/suitable-toy/etc on/in my cunt, stat!”